Mentors to lead the way
How the Character Company is changing the game
South Africa faces immense challenges when it comes to fatherlessness and its impact on the country’s boys, but there are phenomenal strides being made to ensure that they have strong male role models. This was according to Professor Malose Langa, an associate professor and senior lecturer in the School of Community and Human Development at Wits University. “There is still a lot to do, but a lot has been done; we need to see these positive stories mentioned in the conversation as well.”
This is exactly what the Character Company aims to do — share positive stories about manhood and masculinity while providing mentorship and guidance to young boys without father figures. “It’s disheartening to see the issues out there and feel powerless,” acknowledged Jaco van Schalkwyk, the founder of the Character Company. “Our approach involves bringing men in the community together, emphasising their role in the development of boys. We recognise that they may not be fathers, but they hold immense value.”
Early interventions key
Between the ages of five and 10, he explains, is a critical period of development in a young boy’s life; one that sees a young boy transition from the nurturing environment provided by his mother to the adventurous exploration traditionally guided by his father that defines boyhood.
Van Schalkwyk said this period is foundational: “It shapes much of who we are. Moms play a crucial role in accepting and loving their children, but there’s a shift in influence during these formative years. We recognise the importance of fathers — or father figures — stepping into this role during this pivotal time. It is at this age that a boy’s identity, character, discipline structures and value system are laid down. It’s the start of the roadmap that will guide him towards the man he wants to become.”
There is also value in starting early before mindsets have been set, bad habits have taken hold and walls have come up. “By starting early, we can prevent the damage instead of having to try to undo it,” he explains. “We aim to change the narrative, creating a culture where teenagers engage in conversations around vulnerability.”
This is achieved through modelling positive behaviour and fostering discussions. “Influencing their perspective is a gradual process of transformation that starts with the foundational years and extends into adolescence, shaping individuals who challenge the norm,” he
said.
Who am I? How can I find my place in this world?
Kingsley Tloubatla is one of the Mentors at the Character Company. He grew up in Soweto, one of five children and the only boy in the family. His father was not around: “I always observed my mom and sisters relating to each other, I saw them talking and receiving guidance about life. It raised questions for me. The persistent question was, ‘Who am I, and how can I find my place in this world?’ ”
This question came with many challenges, but his life changed after a chance encounter with the Character Company. “It resonated with my soul and I immediately felt that this was what I had been looking for and what the world needs,” he recalled. “The journey has been beautiful. I feel like I’m in the right place at the right time. The past few years with the Character Company have been defining in many aspects of my life.”
Tloubatla said his role as a Mentor is to provide a solid foundation for the boys he interacts with in the programme, to equip them with the values essential for daily life. “We break down stereotypes, challenging notions like ‘men don’t cry’ or ‘men shouldn’t express vulnerability’. These conversations encourage the boys to be authentic at a young age and move away from traditional male stereotypes. We avoid those ‘typical’ male conversations around success, money and women, shifting towards discussions on the real challenges men face.”
Mentors to lead the way
Most importantly, he says, every interaction must emphasise the key qualities that the Character Company seeks in its mentors. What are these qualities? “We need FAT men — faithful, available and teachable,” Tloubatla said.
What does this look like? “Faithful in the sense of being consistent and committed to the programme. Available means showing up even when it’s challenging. Emphasising availability is crucial. When the boys know their mentor shows up consistently, it changes the narrative. They feel secure and reassured, even in challenging situations like bullying at school. It gives them a sense of someone intentionally making time for them.”
“Teachable”, he explained, involves being open to learning from other mentors and even the boys themselves. “In my eight years of mentorship, I’ve learned patience, a quality I didn’t expect to solidify with a fiveyear-old, but it’s been part of the journey.”