BEING ELECTROCUTED BY ART

Using a 2 000-volt transformer to etch wood will kill you.

My brother, Mickey, and I always like to remind each other that there are old pyros and bold pyros, but few old bold pyros. Even so, I’ve tested thermite, painted the floors with contact explosive and even created a mushroom cloud of fire over a lake with stove fuel. None of that has terrified me as much as making Lichtenberg figures. Of all the stupid things people do on Youtube, these wood carvings are among the stupidest. They’re made by hooking microwave transformers, which emit more than 2 000 volts at high current, to pieces of wood with electrodes. You’re basically carving with lightning, and it will very easily kill you. (Seriously. Don’t do it. Touching any part of the system could connect the circuit through you. Then you’re dead.) After watching other people’s videos since the trend popped up a few years ago, Mickey and I ignored common sense and decided to try it, too.

Since wood is a poor conductor, it first needs to be soaked in water and baking soda. After tacking small nails at each end of the planks to attach the electrodes, we get far, far away. For safety, before we plug in the transformer, we carefully make sure that we are not near anything. Not the table, the transformer, the wood, the wires, anything. Only then do we give it power. After a couple of seconds, the burning begins, causing spectacular sparking and open flame, leaving branch-like char across the treated wood. Mickey says the art is in the evaporation. As the solution dries up, he posits, resistance increases and the burn has to move elsewhere. The fractal meandering pattern results from the electricity’s search for the path of least resistance. After powering down the transformer, we scrub off the ash and dark residue to leave a gorgeous – but deadly – work of art. – Dan Dubno