BAY LEAVES

They are poisonous.

As a child, I looked forward to my mother’s spaghetti the same way I looked forward to my favourite ’80s sitcom actors performing trapeze routines on Circus of the Stars. If no one I love dies tonight, I’d think, this is going to be a real treat.

The source of my dinnertime anxiety was the Mediterranean bay leaves my mom added to her sauce and subsequently retrieved in a panic. She knew the relatively boring dangers – that they’re rigid and a choking hazard – but due to the doggedness of her pursuit, I came to believe something else entirely: along with adding flavour to jarred ragu, bay leaves were deadly poisonous if ingested. Her running narration while hovering over the simmering pot with a slotted spoon crystallised my fears: “No one taste anything yet! There’s still one leaf unaccounted for! I put three in this time! Bring me the torch.”

The threat neutralised, we ate, never speaking explicitly of the bullets we’d dodged, though my sister and I came to embrace the risk almost giddily. Next time we might not be so lucky; one of us facedown in a bed of capellini, the other snagging a second piece of garlic bread.

I was 30 when I finally learnt the truth while watching a cooking show, and I thought back to at least one occasion when I’d prepared to induce vomiting after finding a green fleck in my vegetable biryani. I called my mom. She laughed at me, but I think she was flattered. Spaghetti Night had always been an act of faith, and I remained steadfast, her hungry little idiot. – David Walters

Jerrold T Bushberg, clinical professor of radiology at the University of California, Davis, it could cause precancerous tumours. Non-ionising radiation, however, like the kind microwaves emit, deposits energy by vibrating quickly between positive and negative poles. That vibration produces heat that warms your food. The safety standards for microwaves are set far below a level that could cause tissue damage in a human. GO AHEAD AND HOVER WHILE YOU WAIT FOR THAT HOT POCKET.

CELLPHONES

The radiation from cellphones might cause cancer.

Like microwaves, cellphones give off non-ionising radiation – the safe kind. Although it doesn’t have the protective metal mesh that keeps microwaves from escaping, your phone gives off less than 1 watt of energy compared with the 2 000 to 3 000 of a microwave. WE STILL DON’T TRUST THEM.

POWER LINES

The electromagnetic fields around power lines can give you cancer.

A study published in 1979 found that kids with leukaemia lived closer to high-voltage power lines than did healthy children, but it was refuted in 1995. The threat is if a live power line comes down. Otherwise, you’re fine. The electromagnetic fields given off are both nonionising and extremely low frequency – even lower than that of cellphones. IT’S WORSE FOR PROPERTY VALUE THAN YOUR HEALTH.

DRIVING IN HEELS

Loose shoes impede your ability to use the pedals.

There are plenty of possible issues: your shoe can get caught in the brake pedal or fall off and get stuck behind it. Your wife can catch you. Flipflops are just as bad. If you can, avoid wearing any kind of loose shoe while driving. Or go barefoot. It’s not illegal. PUT THEM ON WHEN YOU GET THERE.

X-RAYS AT THE DENTIST’S OFFICE

Lead vests don’t protect your head, arms or legs.

“The lead vest is mostly for patients’ psychological com- fort,” says Dr Bushberg at UC Davis. Dental X-rays are highly focused. The photons pass through your jaw and the sensor to create an X-ray image. They have little chance to go where they shouldn’t. In fact, the hygienist doesn’t need to leave the room. If you’re still concerned, Bushberg says, ask for a thyroid shield. That’s the only organ that might be exposed during the X-ray. YOU SHOULD BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT FLOSSING.

SOLAR FLARES

Bursts of electromagnetic radiation that emanate from the Sun during solar flares will take down the power grid.

Standard-issue solar flares are too small and too far away to have any noticeable effect on Earth. But coronal mass ejections, a separate phenomenon, can drive geomagnetic storms, which can temporarily interfere with high-frequency communications and could also affect the power grid. According to Bob Rutledge of the Space Weather Forecast Office at the US National Weather Service’s Space Weather Prediction Centre, significant CMES occur sporadically. The most recent big events were recorded in 1859, 1921 and 1989. Repairs to the grid would be arduous and costly but, as for physical risk, it’s minimal. Specialists monitor space weather closely. Because a CME can take a day or more to reach Earth, there’ll be ample time to redirect power loads, get aeroplanes back on the tarmac and download enough podcasts to get you through it. YOU’LL BE FINE. IT’LL GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO READ A BOOK.

ELECTROMAGNETIC PULSES

Rogue nations could create the equivalent of a coronal mass ejection (See “Solar Flares”) and use it as a weapon to devastate a nation’s power grid.

Electromagnetic pulses come in three phases: E1, E2, and E3. E1 and E2 pulses range in the ten thousands of volts per metre. Although they can give small-scale equipment trouble, the grid is generally safe. An E3 pulse, however, is similar to a geomagnetic storm and can be caused by a nuclear detonation in the air. Since we can’t predict an EMP, we can’t shut down the grid in preparation. The long-term effects could be devastating, overloading the power grid and causing an extended breakdown in infrastructure. BEST IF YOU DON’T MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH NORTH KOREA.