FIT FOR PURPOSE

Women buy shoes that they never wear. Men buy tools that they never use.

How about this for future-proofing your tool box? Way back in the mid-’80s when we were just out of army and I was building my very first tool set and spending every single cent I had on tools just because they were shiny and pretty, I saw this set-up in the specials box at – and I still remember – Wardkiss down in Pine Street in Durban right next to Hoopers Volkswagen. I remember looking at it and thinking, stuff me, that is a very clever little device, how brilliant is that! I had no need of it then and could not even think of a time in the future when I might need it, but it was just so clever that I figured I must have it, it would be a nice thing to have, and besides, it would make me the coolest mackie in the pit lane at Roy Hesketh with something so fancy in my toolbox, and so I bought it.

“It” is a modular circlip pliers set. The handles have reversible posts on each side that you put the circlip forks on to. It has four sets of forks in the box: a straight thick, a curved thick, a straight thin and a curved thin. That’s all four types of circlip pliers you get.

If you mount them on one side of the handles, they are sprung open, so becoming closing pliers for internal circlips, but if you mount them on the other side of the handles they are sprung closed and so become opening pliers for external circlips. I have carried this set around with me for more than 30 years (as you can see by the state of the box in the picture alongside), just in case. And right now, they are exactly what I need to do these new circlips in the hydraulic lifters for the truck.

As a matter of interest, after I bought the set, I walked into the tool shop across the road and priced just one pair of pliers to do this job.

Try R274 for one pair. This set-up does the job of eight pairs. That’s almost R2 000 for all these pliers. And if you look at the price tag at the top of the pic, you will see that I paid a whole R33,79 for it. Mind you, before you laugh, that was early ’80s, PV days (pre-vanessa). In those days, I still remember that a date at Woodcutters in La Lucia Mall with a Greek salad starter each, a garlic roll, a garlic fillet steak each, me a Castle, her a white wine and coffee each afterwards, with the tip and all came to under R25. (I remember well because I always took exactly R25 with me on those dates. If we didn’t have ice-cream and chocolate sauce dessert, the waitress got a good tip, but if we did have dessert then she got a small tip). So I suppose R33,79 for this was a substantial tool investment in those days, especially for something that I had no use for, but just wanted because it was very cool and clever. After 35 years, I get to use it for exactly the job it was intended and a job that couldn’t be done without it. I’ll bet a pair of Vanessa’s shoes or a handbag that she bought 35 years ago aren’t still in a usable condition and doing their job perfectly.

Maybe I might take care of it a bit more from now on. Never know when I might need it again in another 35 years.

GARY SMITH BY EMAIL