HIV: ‘Indians in denial’

INDIAN women, trapped in relationships with abusive and promiscuous husbands, are facing a growing danger – HIV.

These women, from places like Phoenix and Chatsworth, are unable to negotiate the terms of sexual encounters with their partners, and this power dynamic is playing a “vital role” in women contracting the virus that can lead to Aids.

This is according to a new study by the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC).

Lead author of the study, Dr Dhee Naidoo, told POST Indians were in denial that Aids was a problem in the community.

“We are seeing now a growing trend of people within the community being infected. It is important for them to start talking about it, educating themselves and not making it seem like it is someone else’s disease.”

Jade*, 37, said she contracted the disease from her promiscuous husband.

But she is not like the other Aids sufferers in her community.

She speaks with a liveliness, which is at odds with her conversation with POST about her dayto-day challenges with the disease and the judgement she faces from her “terrible” neighbours.

In a cramped room at a home across from her informal dwelling in Chatsworth, Jade says she does not care who knows she has the disease.

“I don’t have a problem. I tell everybody. Everywhere and anywhere.”

She says the birth of her daughter in 2008 gave her the strength to persist with the awful early stages of medication and learn to live with HIV.

But her energy suddenly drops when asked about her relationship with her husband.

“He used to keep me so strictly. I couldn’t dress up anyhow. I had to stay in the house and the whole time he was jolling on me. He was going out and sleeping around.

“And I still had to be that wife he wanted me to be. And he still made me sick after all that and left me with a child to support.”

Six years ago, Jade’s husband of eight years died from Aids just a month after he was diagnosed.

She was then tested at a local hospital and began treatment.

According to the study, male dominance in Indian communities means women are not able to negotiate sexual encounters with men because men are “socialised to believe women are inferior”.

Said HSRC field worker Ranivhima Pather: “The Indian culture says respect the man, even if he is involved in adultery. The woman has to cater to all the husband’s whims and fancies and if he said something, it was law.” Jade agreed. “I couldn’t ask my husband to put on a condom. He would say ‘what, you don’t trust me?’ “

Indian women remained in these relationships because of economic dependency and fear of violence, the study said.

“He worked. He was the boss,” said Jade.

“He came home at whatever time and I would not ask a question. I must not ask about the wages because he works and it’s his money. He used to love to club and drink and he used to sometimes live away from me. My mum always said we must think our husbands are superior.

“I used to be scared of him sometimes. He used to drink a lot. He was also abusive when I was pregnant with my daughter.”

Sitting next to Jade is Sacha*, 61, who was also infected with HIV by her promiscuous husband. She cuts a very reserved figure. “My husband did a lot of things to me. He had a lot of women and he abused me. I never go for help. I didn’t want the complications… and my in-laws used to ill-treat me.”

During their 22-year marriage, Sacha lived with her in-laws in Phoenix, while her husband lived with a mistress.

Her husband was diagnosed with HIV five years ago and died a few months later.

The study added: “Many women… face the threat of physical violence if they are not sufficiently responsive to their partner’s desires.”

Pather said the idea of the modern woman, who earned money and was independent, filled Indian men with rage.

Jade said Indians would use someone’s HIV status as ammunition against them.

“When you’re HIV positive, people want to expose you. If you and I have an argument, you will want to blurt it out so everyone will know.”

Naidoo said: “It is vital that HIV prevention and health care services address gender imbalances and challenge social norms around masculinity and sexual entitlement.”

This could be achieved through schools, religious organisations, through community leaders and media campaigns.

(* Not their real names.)