‘A masterclass in missing the point’
A RESPONSE to “Why men don’t want a day” by Guru Sundresan, as appeared in POST, August 16-20.
The suggestion that Women’s Day holds genuine necessity and importance left POST reader Guru Sundresan in a fit of incredulity.
In a letter published in last week’s edition, Sundresan, after asking why men – who were “in the eyes of God” equal to women – do not get a “day”, went on to argue why men did not “desire a separate day to celebrate their species”.
His argument appeared to be based on blaming women for the apparent crumbling of the connection between the sexes.
This included them indulging in “secretive” WhatsApp exchanges with men on their phones “with screen locks”.
“I am disgusted to record that on the day women were granted a public holiday… some spent their time sending fictitious texts of a derogatory nature on WhatsApp and other social media to other females, bashing men,” he generalised.
Men, Sundresan believes, would never behave in such a way
“A strong man… even with tears in his eyes will say ‘I am fine,’ and continue to provide for his family,” he added.
“Men are seen as inferior by women,” he wrote after questioning why there wasn’t a “Men’s Day.”
It is a masterclass in missing the point. Sundresan, no doubt disillusioned from years of seeing women trying to be independent, appears to think that days on the calendar set aside for observation of historical events are arbitrary.
He fails to come to grips with the relevance of Women’s Day today. Every society needs to be aware of its past, both to celebrate progress and, more importantly, to highlight where it’s stagnating.
Today’s struggle for women – much like that of all traditionally oppressed groups – is dealing with the embedded, covert legacy of gender oppression in modern life.
He does not, for instance, realise that certain gender dynamics render it difficult for women to – as he advised in his letter – leave abusive husbands.
It is through cultivating independence in women, and likewise sensitivity in men, that we could possibly overcome such bitter aspects.
And with hegemonic power on the side of men, their part is vitally important for true equality to materialise.
More depressingly, as a self-described priest and marriage counsellor, Sundresan would have an authoritative platform in his community.
He no doubt spouts off this ignorant, regressive, thoughtless nonsense to those who come to him.
Amazingly, after a string of disjointed and poorly-reasoned arguments with generalisations, he derided female “activists” who wrote in POST’s August 8-12 edition, for their “generalisations” on women being treated badly by spouses.
He advised men and women to leave abusive relationships “before the end result (is) a nightmare”.
So nightmarish have women made relationships, he wrote, that the “Abused Desk for Men” (which I didn’t think exists) is apparently “inundated” with complaints about “constantly nagging” wives.
It is an indictment on the Indian community when a community leader is as ignorant as Sundresan appears to be. Men like him need to be dragged into the 21st century, or else we risk female powerlessness continuing without an end in sight. KERUSHUN PILLAY
Pietermaritzburg