Sometimes following love is a dark road
HE number of women experimenting with drugs while socialising with their girlfriends and partners is gradually increasing.
A Chatsworth-based counsellor, Pastor Patricia Kistnasamy, said traditionally men were seen as drug addicts, but the tables have turned as more women are becoming hooked.
“Different circumstance have contributed to women using drugs, such as dysfunctional homes, domestic violence, remarriage and single-parent homes.
“Drugs affect the rich, the poor, the working class and stay-at-home mothers. Some women I have counselled have experimented with illegal substances while out with friends, or have watched their husbands and partners use them.
“They decide to join in, without realising it can become addictive.
“In other instances, women have discovered that their husbands are having affairs with drug addicts, and to hold on to their marriages, they buddy up with their spouses over drugs.
“Tough socio-economic conditions have also resulted in women prostituting themselves to support their addictions.”
Kistnasamy said there was a lack of facilities in many communities to assist women fight addiction. “These women are often left to continue the habit as families cannot afford to place them in centres out of the area.”
Pastor Dan Chellan of the MFC Care Centre in Shallcross said: “We decided to stand together and help those who cannot help themselves.
“Last year we started an in-patient programme for women, which allowed them to come to stay at the centre and receive treatment.”
Patients undergo a detox before starting a 42-day programme, said centre manager Neruka Nair. “Motivational speakers assist in helping them deal with their emotional and spiritual needs and pre-assessments, and weekly evaluations are done by our social worker.
“We use the Narcotic Anonymous 12-step programme.”
After the programme and exit interview, the patient is encouraged to attend support groups.
“We have a 60% recovery rate mainly due to effective after-care programmes, support groups and spiritual enlightenment,” said Nair.
“We encourage families and substance abusers to attend the support groups to help them understand addiction, so they are able to assist in the recovery process. This process cannot be managed alone.” FOR the love of her boyfriend, a 16-year-old straight-A pupil gave up on her dreams to help him recover from his drug addiction only to become hooked herself, helpless and homeless.
“Even though I was young, he was my first love. I had become attached to him and did anything to keep him happy,” said Bella* who, in 2015, at age 14, fell in love with an 18-yearold sugars addict.
After dating for a few months, she learnt about his addiction and tried to walk away but claims she was emotionally abused and felt forced to stay in the relationship.
“He said if I left him, he would kill himself or kill me. I was afraid and did not know better,” she said.
“We continued dating and his addiction got worse. He began stealing from his home and his parents kicked him out. Despite living on the streets, I still kept in contact with him and would see him after school. He would steal my taxi fare home to buy sugars and would not let me go home. He beat me if I tried. I eventually dropped out of school and left home to live with him on the streets.”
They slept in parks and along the roadside for a few months.
Her boyfriend, she said, decided to return home and get clean but relapsed. He was back on the streets in January.
“I thought he would change but he started stealing again and he was kicked out. I followed him. At the time, I thought it was the right thing.”
Staff from the MFC Care Centre, said Bella used to do feeding schemes and she noticed the signage at the back of their bakkie indicated they helped with sugars addiction.
“I decided to do something and told my boyfriend he needed help. He said he would join if I did. But I was not taking drugs at the time and knew they would not take me in. My boyfriend told me I should start smoking with him, so when we went to the centre it would show in the tests.”
After weeks of smoking sugars, Bella experienced stomach cramps, nausea and she would sweat profusely.
“It was the most horrible, terrifying feeling but it got us to the centre. At the time, my body was already feeling the effects of the drug.”
She said they were only at the centre for a week when her boyfriend decided to leave.
“He wanted me to go with him but I refused. I cleaned myself up and returned home.”
She hopes to return to school and speak to other young girls, who feel pressured to do the wrong thing, to stop and think about their future.
“Any form of substance abuse is not an option but a choice.”
* Bella is not her real name