Understanding is key to marital bliss
IN RELATION to a column in August, titled “Why men don’t want a day”, I respond from a women’s perspective.
Women have a month dedicated to them as acknowledgement of the past, their struggles, how they overcome these battles and their current role in society.
Women are deemed stronger because (among others) they have the ability to endure a hard day at work, enthusiastically receiving family when they get home, listening attentively, taking care of their every need and providing the same to their friends and family counterparts. After those responsibilities will come time (if any) for their needs, be it “me time”, study time, or to perform work tasks if they have a demanding job.
Once upon a time, a women’s place was at home, but due to economic pressure, circumstances dictate that both partners seek employment. There are many men who truly understand the importance of splitting responsibilities. The male species have defined themselves as the ones who lay down the rules and are not heard or seen to perform any task that was dedicated only to a woman.
It is for this very reason that men aren’t given public recognition for their contribution as they want to avoid external mockery. If only males would control their “man ego”, mature up and stop their criticisms, there would indeed be more public recognition for them.
To the women sending derogatory messages regarding men, deleting messages etc, perhaps the best way to understand is by determining the deeper feelings of women.
Men do spend more time on social platforms than previously; messages of varying content are exchanged, including on home life, and many find them an outlet to discuss domestic issues with their male (and sometimes female) counterparts. Every individual is entitled to privacy and it’s for each couple to determine the rules of using social media.
Loveless and problematic marriages could be resulting from a combination of issues. Women are careeroriented, opinionated, they have a life plan. They expect communication and consultation from each other, while at the same time respecting and embracing each other’s beliefs. Women are seeking an equal partnership but are all men willing and able to do the same? Are men and women being negatively influenced by family and friends?
I am no counsellor and each day life teaches us new things. I believe we need to be observant, learn lessons and pass on the teachings.
A priority objective is initiating self- awareness because individuals can only improve if they understand themselves and the need to change. Having a purpose, understanding it and commitment, together with teamwork and continuous communication, will likely lead to marital success.
PRISCILLA NAIDOO
Durban