A 50-year marriage that keeps sparking true love
THE Govenders of Clare Estate do not spend a day without saying the words “Italy” and “Holland” to one another.
The magic words hold significant meaning for the couple, who celebrated their golden anniversary in August.
During their courtship, every letter they wrote to each other was signed-off with the words Italy, which meant “I Love And Trust You” and Holland, which translated to “Hope our Love Lasts and Never Dies”.
Laughing as they recalled their courtship, Dhanalutchmee, 69, said: “We couldn’t say the love words in our letters in case someone read them, so we made up those acronyms. This meant our families wouldn’t catch on. Up until this day, we still say it to one another.”
The couple, who lived in Newlands, met by chance.
Taking up the story, Shunmugam said he first saw Dhanalutchmee while returning home from the Rama Krishna Temple.
“It was raining that day and my cousin waved to her. I instantly felt a spark.”
But it was 17-year-old Dhanalutchmee, who made the first move.
The following day, she approached his cousin to enquire about the dapper young man she had seen with him.
He in turn notified Shunmugam, who decided to do the honourable thing and meet the young lady’s family.
“I was much older than her,” he admits.
“I was 29 and working as a cutter at Style Clothing Factory in uMgeni Road. When I went to her house, I realised I knew her dad. He worked for my grandfather at our family farm in Newlands, where we planted fruit and vegetable, and left to work on his own.
“So we got talking and over time I became her father’s best friend. I often visited their home and would steal sly looks from her,” he said, laughing.
The couple soon became friends and eventually told their families they were interested in courting.
When Dhanalutchmee was almost done with high school, they got engaged.
A year after their engagement, they tied the knot during a traditional Hindu ceremony on August 27, 1967, at the Gandhi Hall on Ismail C Meer (Lorne) Street. About 300 guests attended. Dhanalutchmee wore a Banaras sari and Shunmugam a beige suit.
They lived with Shunmugam’s family and, a year later, welcomed their first child Jaya, followed by Vaneshree, Rennie and Viloshnee. Desigan was born after they relocated to Reservoir Hills due to the implementation of the group areas act.
Shunmugam retired from farming a few years ago and these days the couple enjoy spending quality time together.
Dhanalutchmee, who is often found at the temple, said the increasing number of divorces in South Africa was worrying and provided the following advice.
“We believed life is not a bed of roses and you need to take the good with the bad. Our vows are sacred to us, but people don’t realise how serious their vows are. I always tell my children, no matter what, they must always remember their vows and work through all their issues together.”
They celebrated their anniversary at the Coastlands Hotel.
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