This boy doesn’t deserve sympathy

THE story headlined “Boy, 15, drugged and abused” (POST, November 29 to December 10) demands a sober response.

Let us not pity a boy who consciously knew the end result of his behaviour.

Now that he is laid bare on the proverbial bed he made for himself, he expects sympathy.

One does not think of a “fun” day of drinking overnight. It is planned carefully.

Money has to be acquired and alcohol purchased. The spot sought. Thus there are many discussions.

Today these discussions take place easily over such platforms as WhatsApp, further cautioning against the use of social media.

One wonders what other discussions took place. Whether the thought of having fun with grown men was in the foreground.

At the age of 15, one is still a child. Children do not know what it is they really want.

They may say “please buy me vanilla” but then ask why one didn’t buy them chocolate. Post-decision, they have regrets too.

This is precisely the case here. He chose to do a wrong thing, but now is unwilling to accept the consequences of his action and expects pity from the community.

His mother further aggravates the situation. If it were my child, I would have, of course, given him the due medical attention, but I would have disciplined him severely and ensured he really regretted it and never did it again.

But I would not have encouraged the publication of a story or showered pity on him.

We live in such townships like Phoenix and Chatsworth.

We know the calibre of those who drink in alleyways and we know what happens after they drink.

The claim that justice is not being done is understandable. It must have been consensual.

The justice system must have some tangible proof of this. Perhaps the messages of the older friend inviting the men for a “sex party”. The lines “men she appeared to know” proves this.

During the 16 Days of Activism campaign, the government takes a firm stance on violence against women and children, thus there are more arrests and harsher sentences during this period. It’s harder to get away with wrongdoing during this period.

This story has innumerable flaws. “Offering a tablet to become sober.” Really? Every week the local newspapers report on the dangers of accepting drugs from strangers, with flakka dotting headlines of late. Grade 8s can read and understand satisfactorily. Moreover, substance abuse is covered comprehensively in Life Orientation, a compulsory subject in schools.

What kind of friend leaves their drunk friend alone to go and visit a former boyfriend? He claims to have been drowsy and unable to remember, yet he was sober enough to remember this and consent with her decision? Two flaws present themselves here. First, that he had the chance to escape, secondly, that she only left so he would be comfortable to have group sex with these men in her absence.

The boy’s mother fell pregnant at age 17. The maths tells me this. The family should have been “baffled and outraged” at that and not at the state, which sees no purpose in pursuing a consensual case. The article states that he went out at night. Did she not enquire about where her 15-year-old was going? Perhaps she allows this regularly.

I concur with R Mann of South African Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse, who says that males are victims of rape too, but from the article, rape doesn’t appear to be the case here.

I’m left with many more questions and concerns.

SOBER DURBAN RESIDENT Chatsworth