Car guards: you either love ’em or loathe ’em
TWO things startled me, news-wise, last week. Well, besides politics and crime. One was that a Chatsworth car guard was fined R200 by Metro police for “begging”.
That is why a later news item interested me as it had a police spokesperson saying that street car guards are illegal.
He added that they were a “nuinsance” (sic). I’m sure he meant a nuisance … which at the very best of times they can be.
I gather they are illegal unless they are members of a registered company that specialises in car guarding. I may be wrong.
I feel sorry for the above-mentioned car guard who got fined as it turns out he is unemployed and the money made – usually R50 or R60 – runs his household.
Storekeepers in his watch area were up in arms as they had grown fond of his presence and they sang his praises about how helpful he was in the community.
By and large, car guards are a right royal pain in the bumper. Don’t get me wrong. Some are very diligent and conscientious about their “job”.
Others seem to be in it for the easy money.
Many times I tested out the honesty of them. Sometimes when you park at a mall or other places, there is not a guard in sight. When you return to your car, one appears next to you like a sprite. Appearing out of fresh air. At your service.
At other times one strolls along with me to my car. The following is the conversation that unfolds:
Me: “So, you have been looking after my car?” Car guard: “Yes, sir.” Me: “Okay then, tell me which is my car.”
Car guard: “Eish sir. But I know.”
But, of course, he does not. At the nearby shopping complex I frequent, there are a few car guards but two parking spots on the pavement are under the sole jurisdiction of one sorry-looking informal car guard. It’s also not a legal parking area.
He pressures motorists to park there. When the unfortunate driver goes to do his shopping, the Metro police appear and issue a fine for illegal parking. On arrival at his car, the hapless driver finds the ticket, but no car guard. He had done a magic trick and disappeared.
Sadly, some car guards who know they are forcing you to park in a non-parking space are known to “confiscate” parking tickets that are rightfully issued by traffic cops and the poor driver receives summons a few months later for not paying the fine.
Ever had the misfortune of having your car stolen from a parking lot? I sincerely hope you haven’t.
In those cases, the unfortunate car owner will first question the car guard to know if he saw who stole the vehicle.
It is then that a miracle happens as the car guard suddenly converts to Buddhism. You know the “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil”. He will insist that he saw nothing.
However, enough carguard bashing. Here’s a positive. I go often to Pick n Pay Hyper by the Sea as I like the wide aisles and good stock rotation, which ensures you get fresh stock, but that’s beside the point we are discussing now.
I always gravitate to one section of the vast parking area, simply because of the car guard that oversees that vicinity. He is an absolute gentleman, polite and courteous. He assists customers to their cars and packs the groceries in their vehicles for them. He even knows many of the regulars by name.
I give him all my small change, those pesky small-denomination coins. He welcomes it as he cashes it inside the shop and it adds up to a tidy sum. On rainy days he has an umbrella to escort you to your car. Now, if every car guard was like him, what a pleasure it would be to reward them for services rendered.
Conscientious car guards can be a blessing, especially to us mere mortals who are not fortunate to have reverse cameras as features in our vehicles.
It is also commendable that they are trying to make a living instead of indulging in crime to support themselves.
The proliferation of car guards started years ago in this country and, about a decade ago, something that former East Coast radio jock Dave Guselli said made me chuckle for days.
He was talking about car guards and how ubiquitous they are. He said: “They are absolutely everywhere. Why the other morning I opened my garage door to take out my car, and there was a car guard, directing me out.”
Love them or hate them, they are here to stay. Well, depends on how fastidious the Metro police are about applying that aforementioned law!