How to beat the blues
DEPRESSION has become a “taboo” topic of discussion but much more needs to be done to prevent fatal outcomes.
It destroys more than just the mental capacity of an individual. It has destroyed families, relationships, careers and even lives. Unfortunately the stigma attached to this “common contagion” has left its victims feeling helpless and sometimes even outcast.
Having faced this monster myself, I’ve discovered that if not dealt with, with extreme caution and utmost care, it is simply a game of “dicing with death”.
Depression gutters your vitality, optimism and drive, making it problematic to pace towards any form of help that will make you to feel better.
While overcoming depression isn’t quick or easy, it’s far from impossible. You can’t just will yourself to snap out of it, but you do have more rheostat than you realise – even if your depression is severe and obstinately persistent.
The key is to start small and build from there. Feeling better takes time, but you can get there by making positive choices for yourself each day.
Conquering depression requires action. However, taking action when you’re depressed can be a challenge. Often the thought of doing things that could help you feel better, like exercising or socialising and going outdoors, can seem exhausting and sometimes beyond reach. Nevertheless, one must put these into action.
It’s the proverbial “Catch-22” of depression that expedites your recovery. The things that help the most are the things that are the most difficult to do. There is a huge variance between something that’s challenging and something that’s unmanageable. You may not have much energy, but by drawing on all your reserves, you should have enough to take a walk down the street or pick up the phone to call a loved one. It is the simple acts that we consider to be most impossible.
It is often said that taking the first step is always the hardest and I couldn’t over emphasis the same. I remember when my mother passed on how incredibly unreasonable her death seemed.
Of course, she had a protracted fight with lupus and her passing was inevitable, yet coming to terms with, and more importantly, accepting that her revered presence would become conspicuously absent was too overwhelming to bear.
I built myself an emotional igloo to protect myself against the harsh, cold truth – mother was just not coming back. Fortunately, I had the support of friends and siblings, which helped me realise that going for a walk or singing her favourite song, for example, is something I could do that will begin the process of healing.
And it significantly boosted my temperament and vigour for several hours – long enough to put a second recovery step into action, such as arranging to meet an old friend or perhaps even sharing your experience with someone who has gone that way before.
By taking small but positive steps day by day, you’ll soon lift the heavy fog of depression and find yourself feeling happier, healthier and more hopeful again.
Staying in touch with friends and family and just the outside world helps to dismantle the mind of anything negative. Getting help plays a critical role in overpowering depression. On your own, it can be difficult to uphold a healthy perspective and endure the effort required to beat depression.
At the same time, the very nature of depression makes it tough to reach out for help. When you’re depressed, the propensity is to withdraw and isolate, so that connecting to even close family members and friends can be hard-hitting.
You may feel too “beat-up” to talk, embarrassed at your condition, or guilt-ridden for neglecting certain relationships, but this is just the depression talking. Staying connected to other people and taking part in social activities will make an enormous impact on your mood and viewpoint.
Reaching out is not a sign of weakness and it won’t mean you’re a burden to others. Your loved ones care about you and want to help. And if you don’t feel that you have anyone to turn to, it’s never too late to build new friendships and improve your support network.
Look for support from people who make you feel secure and cared for. People don’t have to be able to fix you; they just need to be good listeners. Find someone who’ll listen attentively and compassionately without being presumptuous or judgmental of you.
Phone calls, social media, and texting can be effective means to stay in touch, but they can never replace good old-fashioned in-person quality time. The simple act of talking to someone face to face about how you feel can play a big role in discharging depression and keeping it away.
Keeping up with social trends, even if you don’t feel like it, helps make easy conversation without paying too much attention to the things that cause you heartache and grief. Most times when you’re depressed, it feels more comfortable to retreat into a shell, but being around mutual companions will make you feel more included.
Supporting others is also a magnificent way to deal with depression. There is just something incredibly therapeutic about lending a helping hand to someone in need. It puts life into perspective and makes us realise that there may just be someone out there with a greater hardship that us. It’s nice to receive support, but research shows you get an even bigger mood boost from providing support to others. Volunteer at an NGO, be a listening ear for a friend, do something nice for a widow or just say good morning to the man on the street.
Being with others dealing with depression can go a long way in sinking your sense of isolation. You can also encourage each other, give and receive advice on how to cope, and share your experiences.
Finally, once you identify the destructive thoughts patterns that contribute to your depression, you can start to challenge and dispense of them. Depression is almost always linked to the past.
So when “the past comes knocking, don’t open the door. It generally has nothing new to tell you”.