Equal partners for better or worse
TWO high-profile murder cases making headlines last week have helped focus attention on the alarming increase in cases of “intimate femicide” in South Africa, which has the highest rate of women murdered by their partners in the world.
The first involved the conviction and sentencing of Sandile Mantsoe to 32 years in prison for the murder of his girlfriend, Karabo Mokoena.
On the very day that Mantsoe was sentenced last week, another young woman, student Zolile Khumalo was shot dead, allegedly by her former boyfriend, at her off-campus residence in the CBD.
The sad truth is that these two cases are just part of a much broader and sickening social phenomenon prevalent across all communities, and economic and social sectors.
The statistics speak for themselves. Over 20%of women over 18 in the country – that’s roughly one in every five – have experienced violence at the hands of their partner. And the most dangerous moment for any woman trapped in a violent relationship is when she decides to leave her partner.
In recent weeks, this newspaper has reported extensively on cases involving members of the Indian community. In one case, a Pietermaritzburg man, angry that his teenage girlfriend had not cleaned their room, allegedly doused her with petrol and set her alight.
In another much-publicised case, a jilted boyfriend, Thayalan Tyrone Pillay, pleaded guilty to shooting Annalene Pillay outside her place of work after apparently hearing of her meeting with another man.
Other high-profile instances of femicide include those of Paralympian Oscar Pistorius, who is serving time for the murder of his model girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp; and businessman Christopher Panayiotou who masterminded his wife’s killing by hiring a hit man to commit the murder.
The root of the problem very often lies in the way in which young men are socialised into believing they are the primary and dominant partner in a relationship. They fail to understand they are equal partners in a relationship, something that should be inculcated in them at an early age.
For their part, women need to be encouraged to speak out about the abuse they suffer at the hands of their partners.
What is also urgent is for the justice system to respond more urgently to this national crisis and formulate more effective ways of collecting information on gender-based violence.
The warped attitude among some men that says “if I can’t have you, then no one else will” is selfish and cowardly in the extreme, and has no place in a civilised society.