Survival instinct kicks in

WOMEN have the uncanny ability to rise above challenges – even when life deals them cruel blows, including the death of a spouse.

“Women have survival instincts that kick in when they are backed into a corner or faced with life changing events. Regardless of their situations, this inner strength comes out when they need it the most,” said Sabera Timol from the Kenilworth Respite Centre, who has witnessed women’s resilience first hand.

“This resilience comes from hope and not allowing fear to rule them,” added Annie Varaden, a therapist at the Sahara Healing Centre. “This coupled with faith in God, a good circle of family and friends and help from a professional is vital.”

Said Saras Perumal, the manager at Phoenix Child Welfare: “As women, we play multiple roles. We are constantly multi-tasking to get things done in our homes and for our families. It is hard for us to sit back and dwell on things but by using our inner power we pull together.”

She said in life there are two choices. “To go down due to our circumstances or make a difference and change in our lives. While we have women who have progressed despite the death of a spouse, there are many who land themselves in depression.”

Savy Naidoo from the Widows Support Group said when a woman loses her husband her motherly instinct to provide and protect her children is more evident. “How we find the strength to do this, is probably with the help of God, family, friends and even a support group. But in some cases society brings widows down especially in the Indian community when they are segregated from participating in religious prayers and wedding rituals as the’re widowed.”

This, she said, broke down one’s self-esteem, especially those trying to move forward.