‘Dumped by my family’
WITH her hands firmly covering her face, a Phoenix grandmother wept uncontrollably as she described the pain of being thrown out on the street with nothing but the clothes on her back by the people she loves most in the world… her own children.
“I have three daughters and I was kicked out of their homes on different occasions. They want privacy with their families and with me around, they were not getting it,” she said. “Being thrown out on the streets made me feel unwanted and like a burden.”
For the woman, the situation was hard to accept because she had cared for her children and provided for them when they had nothing.
“My husband was an alcoholic who used to abuse me. In order to provide for our children I worked in a clothing factory – and after all these years they have abandoned me. Every day is a struggle. I feel depressed and anxious. I cannot eat or sleep.”
Her story, although shocking, is not unique, as there are hundreds of elderly people in South Africa who have faced similar situations.
But for the 58-year-old, there was a silver lining as she found hope – and a home – in the form of the Phoenix Survival Centre. The non-profit organisation is a haven for abused,
abandoned and destitute women in the community and surrounding areas.
“Through the centre I am working on putting my life together,” she said.
Another woman, a mother of two, said her world had been turned upside down when she was retrenched by an accounting firm.
“I had been separated from my husband and my two teenage children live with him. The family I was living with threw me out on the street because I had changed my religion. With no job or money I had nowhere to go.”
The 44-year-old, who has a diploma in accounting and completed the first year of a BCom degree, said she had lost all hope.
“Being rejected in such a cold manner is difficult. I cannot
cope or work because I now suffer from depression. Although I am receiving counselling, it is still very hard to accept.”
Spearheading the organisation is community activist, counsellor and grandmother of two, Caroline Lynn Govender.
“In February 2009, while serving breakfast as a volunteer to patients at the Mahatma Gandhi Memorial Hospital, I met women who were abused, abandoned and destitute.
“Some of them were contemplating suicide due to the emotional, verbal and physical abuse they were going through.”
Govender said elderly mothers were petrified to go home after collecting their social grant, fearing their drug-addicted children would demand
money from them.
“There were mothers who were thrown on the street after transferring their homes into their children’s names. There were other women who had no home to go to and slept on the benches at the hospital.”
From this experience, Govender decided to start a home for these women, but it was not an easy journey.
“I felt in my heart that this is what God wanted me to do.”
With the help of her husband, Pastor Daniel Govender, they built the home on the property of their church in Stonebridge.
“The doors to the home were opened in 2012 and it is funded by me and my husband. We receive no assistance from the government. Since opening the shelter we have had more than 100 women who have stayed
at the home and come in for counselling.”
Govender said she worked with the Phoenix SAPS, the Sahara Women’s Shelter and religious organisations who refer her to women who need help.
“We are one of two organisations, the other being the Sahara Women’s Shelter, that is dedicated to helping women in Phoenix.
“Because of their experiences and the abuse, these women suffer from severe depression and anxiety.
“The home is equipped with three bedrooms that can accommodate up to 10 women. I run a structured daily programme with the women, which entails skills development, arts and crafts, literacy classes, exercise and a home garden programme to help them sustain themselves.”
Govender said there was no time frame on how long they could stay.
“I have one lady living with us for three years now. Others come in and through the counselling are able to get back on their feet and even reconcile with their families. We provide everything for them, from food and clothing to toiletries.”
Govender said the women helped in the soup kitchen and other feeding drives run by the home.
In addition to running the home, Govender offers counselling on HIV/Aids and drug abuse.
She also does crisis intervention in partnership with the Verulam Magistrate’s Court, focusing on domestic violence, and runs a women’s empowerment programme on Good News Radio.