Depression – breaking the silence and social stigma: My story

CCORDING to the World Health Organisation, more than 300 million people worldwide suffer with depression.

These are just the diagnosed and reported cases.

I am one of them, and this is my story.

Looking back, I now realise I have suffered with depression for many years, but I always brushed it off as me being sad.

There is a huge difference between being sad and having depression.

Sadness is a normal human emotion; it’s a natural reaction to situations that cause emotional pain.

I had been through a few traumatic experiences, so it was easy for me to think I was upset and assume it would pass.

Depression, on the other hand, is an abnormal state, a mental illness that affects our thinking, perceptions, and behaviours.

For years I was able to live a productive life, and so I wasn’t too concerned about my mental health. Until about two years ago. I had completed my PhD and everything was going well in my life.

But I woke up one morning with a sense of emptiness within me.

I didn’t want to get out of bed. I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t know what to do. I felt as if I had no direction.

At first I thought maybe I’m just having a bad day. But those days continued into weeks and months and got progressively worse.

I would have my curtains closed all the time. I would lay in bed, literally and figuratively living in darkness.

I would feel so low at times, I would cry for absolutely no reason at all. I had lost my appetite and a noticeable amount of weight.

My clothes didn’t fit me anymore. I battled to sleep and when I did manage to get some sleep, I would wake up feeling exhausted.

There were days when I would feel okay. I would try to go out and want to feel normal.

But it felt fake, in the sense that I had to pretend I was fine, and that itself made the problem worse. Even when I was around people, I felt isolated. It was exhausting.

I would stay indoors, too self conscious to go out.

My anxiety had got the best of me. I slowly backed away from my friends and family, sometimes completely shutting myself off from the world around me.

All satisfaction had gone. I had lost interest in the things I loved doing. The little things that used to bring me joy had become meaningless.

The simplest tasks became painful. I lacked motivation.

It became a vicious cycle and I had become so miserable. It was like I was living in slow motion and every minute was torture. I felt as if I would never be happy again.

Things that made my friends excited left me feeling indifferent, and I became aware of the huge gap between others and myself.

And so I chose to be alone, in my little bubble, my comfort zone, where nobody asked any questions.

I don’t live with my family, so they didn’t know what I was going through.

If they would call, I would say I am fine because I didn’t want them to worry about me.

I have always been a strong and independent person, someone others looked up to.

So I didn’t want to talk about what I was going through and burden others with my problem.

But living that way became unbearable. My mind was constantly at war with itself, and I realised I couldn’t go on like that.

And when you get to that point, two things can happen: You either decide to get some help. Or sadly, you may attempt suicide.

I’m here today, because I chose to fight. I’m glad I never had that feeling of just giving up. I had accepted that I had a problem and I chose to get help.

And that’s the first step to getting your life back on track. I had to be strong again and you don’t realise how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have.

The strength to pick yourself up and get help comes from within.

I was determined to not let this define who I am, because there was so much more to me. I went through hell and fought my way out. If I can do it, so can you.

I was lucky to have the support of my family and friends when I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety.

I got treated for my disorder and began to change my life. But it’s important to note that medication can only do so much, it doesn’t perform miracles.

The rest is up to you. For me, part of it has been a spiritual journey. I found meaning in life. I got to know myself better and I strive to be a better person in every way I can be.

I educated myself about depression. It’s a disease, NOT a choice.

It’s an illness caused by chemical imbalances in the brain and may be combined with psychological trauma, all of which is not within your control.

Why is it more acceptable to receive treatment for cancer or heart disease, but when it comes to a mental disorder, people feel that you can’t take medication for your mind?

People don’t look at mental health in the way they look at physical health.

The word depression is stereotyped. There is an unnecessary stigma attached to it, a sense of embarrassment when it comes to talking about mental health issues.

People think it’s a weakness to have depression. That needs to end. People often say “It’s all in your mind”, or “snap out of it, let’s do something fun, you’ll feel better”.

They may even go as far as saying “you’re a crazy person”, or “you’re just looking for attention”. That actually makes us feel so much worse.

A generation ago, we may have lacked in resources.

But today, we live in a modern age where technology has enabled us to have information at our fingertips. So why not take the time to educate yourselves about mental health disorders?

That being said, despite having the knowledge, many people choose to live in denial.

They are well aware of the issue but rather not speak about it, and are too concerned about what others may think or say.

In some cases the person suffering with depression is ready and willing to get help, but it’s their loved ones who suppress them from doing so.

Depression is a major contributor to suicide deaths, with numbers reaching up to 800 000 per year.

Ask yourself this: Are you willing to risk losing a loved one suffering from depression, because of the social stigma attached?

There is no shame in asking for help. It takes a lot of courage and I promise you, once you take that step, it’s the beginning of a positive transformation.

I know that one voice is not enough to break the silence. It will take many more voices to speak up.

But let this be a start. It all begins with you, your awareness, acceptance and willingness.

There is definitely a need for support groups, where people struggling with mental health issues can openly talk about what they are going through.

Support is also needed for people living with loved ones suffering from depression. We need to look at the bigger picture.

If we continue to live with this stigma and pass it on to the next generation, we will end up with a huge epidemic.

If you can relate to my story in any way, remember that you are not alone, and all hope is not lost.

There is help out there, don’t be afraid to reach out.

- Anonymous