Get busy - mastubation is good for you
Maggie (37) at ripe old age to slam Hollywood
MAGGIE Gyllenhaal has spoken of her frustration at being told by film executives she was too old to play the love interest of a 55-year-old man – despite being just 37.
The American actress, who starred in acclaimed BBC TV series The Honourable Woman, spoke out against Hollywood’s ingrained sexism and ageism in an interview with The Wrap magazine.
“There are things that are really disappointing about being an actress in Hollywood that surprise me all the time,” she said.
“I’m 37 and I was told recently I was too old to play the lover of a man who was 55. “It was astonishing to me. “It made me feel bad, and then it made me feel angry, and then it made me laugh,” a frustrated Gyllenhaal said. – The Independent SEX and masturbation have had a bad rap for the 200 years or more. For some reason it has become associated with everything evil and perverse. It has been shamed, maligned and even classified as a sin – and yet it is still the only natural way we procreate and ensure the continuation of the species.
Now, whether that is a good thing or not is debatable.
I am of the belief that sex is good for you. This includes sex with your partner and masturbation. I believe it should be an important part of your health, relationship and personal development. I also believe you do not have to have a partner to enjoy orgasm and that masturbation is a far better way to go than inappropriate one-night stands. It is also the best way to discover what you do and don’t like and how to get to orgasm.
It will help you understand your body and assists in developing a sense of self worth.
We Vibe, the company that produces and gives its name to the world’s best-selling couples toy, has completed a survey in the US – and I wonder how similar the findings would be in South Africa?
It found in the US, people were most likely to masturbate in the following places: 41 percent in the bathroom; 25 percent in the shower; 19 percent on the couch; and 8 percent in the kitchen.
Twenty percent said they had masturbated in a car. The most exciting news for me as a toy seller is that 82 percent reported masturbating most during winter and at night. “Winter is coming!” has a whole new ring about it.
According to a national representative US sample, 94 percent of men admitted to masturbating, as did 85 percent of women. I laughed at the comments listed at the bottom of the article – one in particular: “The rest are lying!”
I don’t think we come anywhere near those percentages in this country, especially the female population. Little girls are shamed for touching their genitals and enjoying their bodies. Watch a YouTube clip in which “The Cliteratti” talk about the myths surrounding masturbation. You can follow the link to the clip on my blog.
We really should normalise masturbation. I used to find saying the word a bit uncomfortable, but now it just rolls off the tongue. Say it aloud until you stop blushing.
Masturbation is the touching of one’s own genitals for pleasure. It is something that babies do from the time they are in the womb and is a normal and natural part of healthy sexual development.
You can talk to your children about it and – just like you potty train them and teach them to use the bathroom – you can teach them to touch themselves in the privacy of their own room or in the bathroom, wherever they have privacy.
If your daughter understood the power of her body and the beauty of orgasm she might understand the difference between love and a normal biological function. If she understands that glorious, yummy feeling is not love, she will make better choices and more considered decisions. I am willing to bet she will wait longer to have sex for the first time, will do so for the right reasons and may not marry the first man who asks her.
There are so many myths that have helped to stigmatise masturbation. Mind-blowingly stupid myths: you’ll go insane, go blind, grow hair on the palm of your hand, or become infertile. All garbage!
The truth is that masturbation is good for you. It has many health benefits. For women, it can help prevent cervical and urinary tract infections. It is because of a process called tenting – which is too technical for me to go into on a beautiful Saturday morning. In men it can help prevent prostate cancer. If you want to know how, I can refer you to the research.
It can improve your immune functioning by increasing cortisol levels, and it increases endorphin levels, reducing depression. It also releases serotonin, the happy hormone, making you feel healthier and happier. Further benefits of orgasm include: reducing stress levels, reducing blood pressure, increasing selfesteem and reducing pain. Just so you know: sex should never be painful and if it is you should see a sex-positive doctor.
It is important to talk about masturbation openly and honestly. Talking about masturbation has its benefits. It promotes sex-positive views in your home and community. It allows us to have healthier sexual behaviour and attitudes without stigma and shame – and how can that possibly be bad for you?
Thank you for participating in the conversation. Your e-mails and questions are much appreciated. Should you wish to ask anything or suggest a topic for a future column, please e-mail me at sharon@lolamontez.co.za.