Brendan Seery

VERY good rule of thumb with Audis is: don’t even think about judging these books by their covers. And, even by the understated nature of the marque, the slate grey (not even metallic) RS3 sitting in the office parking garage didn’t have a very appealing cover.

The grey is said to be quite popular – but, honestly, I wonder: with whom?

A colour can make such a difference to a car. We bought a Subaru Forester some months ago, determined that, whatever happened, we would not get another silver, or grey, car again. We’ve had four of them in the last decade. And the metallic blue colour we eventually decided upon rewards us every day: we look at it in the driveway, or reversing out of the gate (and we means me and my wife) and think (and often say): Wow! What a beautiful colour!

So, the grey RS3 looked like a bashful accountant sitting there, hoping it wouldn’t be noticed. And it might not have been, had it not been for the red-painted brake calipers which gave a little hint of the performance potential.

The grey and silver alloy wheels, with their blade-like design, also indicated that this was not a run-ofthe-mill Audi.

Opening the door and climbing in didn’t disappoint, either.

The high-backed leather racing seats had red stitching, which echoed the racing red and aluminium accents in the cabin. Typical Audi – beautiful and functional but without being shouty. True class.

But, pushing the red starter button and hearing the turbocharged 2.5-litre five-cylinder engine roar into life showed that this was indeed a book which had little relation to its outer cover.

That sound transported me

Astraight back to the 80s… a time of sunshine, hair and discretionary spending money (and a girl or two). I was an avid petrolhead then and, before the cares of domesticity changed a few of my habits, my favourite indulgence was buying overseas car magazines and going through virtually every word. And that is how I discovered Audi.

In the 1980s, Audi had changed the entire game of international rallying with the introduction of its turbocharged Quattros, powered by an unusual, and revolutionary at the time, five-cylinder engine.

The theory with the engine (which did duty in lower states of tune in other Audi models) was that it would deliver the power and torque of a six-cylinder with economy more akin to that of a four-cylinder. Whether that was true or not will always be debated by car fans, but the reality is that the five-pot was an expensive engine to produce and not as economical as many hoped, so it was replaced in the range.

But, on the odd occasion I got to watch a World Rally Championship event on TV, the offbeat roar of the Audis spitting flames from their exhausts as they crested hills and demolished the opposition was, I suppose, what the psychologist would call imprinting.

I have loved Audis, and that fivecylinder motor, ever since. Not a single Audi – petrol, diesel, station wagon or supercar – has ever disappointed me.

So, when the RS3 fired up, I realised that reign of pleasure would continue.

This car, a five-door hatchback (Audi calls the design the Sportback) looks nothing like the 1980s rally cars but, interestingly, puts out more power than them. For a brief moment, the 270kW RS3 was the world’s most powerful hatchback… until Mercedes-Benz upped the power of its equally awesome AMG 45 to 275kW.

Audi’s 270kW feel extremely real and I have little doubt that the car will run close to the maker’s claimed 4.3-second time to accelerate to 100km/h. That, for those who don’t know, is supercar territory.

The RS3 engine displays very little turbo lag and, when you put your foot down, it quickly dismantles your previous view of time and space. No other way to describe the fierce acceleration.

It gets off the line very well, thanks to the Quattro all-wheeldrive which is what made the car of that name the dominating force in rallies in the 1980s… and laid down a design parameter which is still relevant to this day: if you want to go very fast on a loose surface, then rather have four drive wheels than two.

Ironically, it was the excellence of the Audi AWD which made me a Subaru fan.

The Quattro system is one which I would take every time over a twowheel-drive equivalent, because it gives a less-than-top driver (me and most of you reading this) that extra level of confidence – and safety.

It’s true that at the very extremes the RS3 will do what powerful AWD cars will do, and understeer. That is when the front doesn’t answer the commands from the steering wheel as faithfully as it should. The way to deal with understeer is to lift off… an inherently safer thing to do than trying, macho style, to drive yourself out of a difficult situation.

However, when an RS3 does understeer, it’s in extreme situations… the sort of thing most ordinary drivers would never approach.

So, what then, is the point of the RS3? Only top drivers can really exploit its potential, it’s thirsty (I struggled to get it below 13 litres per 100km in a combination of city and highway driving), and most people won’t notice it.

Audi’s own excellent S3 is not far off big brother here, despite having only a four-cylinder motor and a mere 205kW. VW’s Golf GTI, especially in Clubsport fettle, is also in that league.

The S3, is almost R200 000 cheaper than the R830 000 RS3 (in base form, without extras). The Golf Clubsport is R280 000 less. But… but… The RS3 is a classic. To me, if I had the money, there wouldn’t be anything else I would buy. As a hatchback, it’s expensive; as a supercar, it’s cheap.

And you get that amazing sound track…