Safe from abuse at the Bella
Get help and end the cycle. Do it for you, says woman in shelter
BELLA Maria Home for Abused Women in the Vaal Triangle is as homely as shelters get.
The house can accommodate 11 people for up to three months – longer if necessary. For the women who stay within its walls, it’s a beacon of hope.
Miranda*, one of the women currently living at Bella Maria, says the home has been a gift.
“I was an abused woman with a traumatised child. I never knew of places like this. I don’t think women out there know that there are places like this you can go to. Even police stations don’t know how to help,” she says.
The 16 Days of Activism campaign kicked off yesterday in South Africa and many parts of the world. Women and children remain vulnerable to violence, abuse and oppression and awareness is a global priority. This year the United Nations’ theme is Orange the World: Raise Money to End Violence against Women and Girls. Locally the theme is Count Me In: Together Moving a Non-Violent South Africa Forward.
Awareness matters because Miranda, who is in her forties, says many people don’t know where to turn when they become victims of abuse. She found the home through LifeLine.
LifeLine Vaal Triangle’s director Colleen Rogers says the house was donated to the organisation in 1988. It was named after one of the first women who was given shelter there. This woman, Maria, raised her four children in the home.
More than being a home that provide three meals a day, toiletries and clothes, Bella Maria, which is funded by the Department of Social Development, also provides a comprehensive network of psycho-social personnel including a child-friendly counsellors, social workers,and legal assistance. The home even reaches out to partners, who are often the abusers, to get the necessary counselling.
In-house social worker Dineo Ramushsu says there is a big push to upskill the women. She says: “Skills can mean they can work and get an income and start over.”
The last three months have been challenging for Miranda. She’s had to work through her anger; her disappointment in herself and helping her son heal from being in an abusive home.
“My son was angry. Because he’s so little, he couldn’t voice his frustration. He’d bang his head against the wall, bite himself and was violent. “But we’re both so much better. I’m calmer, I’m stronger – and he is too,” she says.
Miranda says seeking help is the hardest step. “You need to recognise you’re being abused, that it’s not okay and it needs to stop. It’s a decision only you can make. You must break the cycle. You must do it for you,” she says.
*Not her real name