Having a toy can only enhance the play
I HAVE never been ashamed of what I do. I sell sex toys, write about sex and talk about sex. In fact I consider it a perfectly normal, legitimate career. It’s been tough on occasion, especially on my children. But I have built a respectable brand – Lola Montez.
I know people find it uncomfortable to talk about sex and that sex toys are considered entertainment rather than sensual necessities but this past weekend someone close reminded me how wrong my opinion is. So this week this column is giving sex toys their 15 minutes of fame.
The incident that has my back up stems from offering a student a Girl Friday job. Her mother thought it would be a good idea but not something to list on her CV! Really?
I’m not afraid to list sex toy salesman on my CV because I know I have changed lives and every single one for the better! Selling a T-shirt after this will be a piece of cake.
Sex toys have been around for much longer than you can imagine. The Marquis de Sade referred to them in the 18th century and in the 19th century they become mainstream.
The recently released movie Hysteria deals with how the Victorians chose to deal with it. They introduced the vibrator. A couple of years later, vibrators were electrified. They in fact came before the Hoover.
Every self-respecting woman who cared about her health had one. You could purchase it from the drug store, general dealer and via any women’s magazine or catalogue. Elizabeth Arden used them in her beauty salons until about 1936.
So what happened? Vibrators became associated with the sex industry and no longer with the health industry, and would have to go underground. Since I got into the industry, it has changed significantly. Women have started designing toys. They no longer look like large veined penises. Those are still available but not a woman’s first choice. As a man you shouldn’t have to compete with your wingman. And that’s what I think a toy is to a relationship – a great wingman.
It takes the average woman more than 20 minutes to reach a bliss state. With a toy that can be significantly reduced, bringing the time to reach orgasm closer to a man’s – 3 to 5 minutes.
Toys are not served for your lonely spinster aunt. They are not for the desperate or dys- functional. They are not for the sick unless you mean sick as a good thing. They should only be introduced into your relationship to explore new levels of intimacy and a bit of fun.
Women who say: “I don’t need one, I have a real one at home,” are confused. I am not selling men or penises. We are selling a toy to be used with or without your partner to explore new levels of bliss. It’s like buying new Lego blocks for your child, they don’t need them but it’s wonderful to add to the collection to explore and build.
I cannot understand why such a small piece of plastic strikes such fear into the hearts of so many. I cannot understand why selling adult toys, that obviously change the lives of so many people, is considered such a dirty job. It blows my mind – and not in a good way!
We often hear clients say they are surprised by the level of service and the look of the shop. I’m not sure what the average Joe and Josephine expects when they walk into a sex shop, particularly an upmarket one. So let me tell you what to expect. The shop is beautiful with chandeliers, wood floors, Persian carpets and clean cabinets. It smells delicious and there’s no porn.
The staff can talk to you about your needs and refer you to a professional if you need one. Ask me what kind of person comes to my store and I will answer “people like you and me.” They are concerned about their health and want to improve their relationships. They understand the value of extra help and are not afraid to ask.
E-mail: sharon@lolamontez.co.za