Be a man bro, stop the abuse
DEAR Lil Brothers, Today marks the ninth day of the 16 days for No Violence Against Women and Children. I am 25 years of age. I have not laid my hand on a woman or child. I speak to women and children respectfully, always. Fortunately, I have not lived in a home with violence.
Sadly, I have seen women of different ages become victims of abuse. Many of you lads are dating already. The phase of dating is the strongest and closest relationship you will have with a woman. If you have someone you call “My girlfriend”, I hope you treat her with utmost respect.
These 16 days would not be on the international calendar if our brothers, dads, uncles and male friends weren’t ushering it in one form or another into homes, schools, workplaces and public places.
As the founder of the Young Men Movement (YMM), I know what you boys are going through. Let’s work together to build our society one non-violent boy at a time.
Do not be misled, Lil Bro. Violence is not only physical; murder, robbery, rape and assault. Most of you are still at school. Do not say anything nasty to the girls in your classes. There are certain things you can only do or say to bommata bago (your male friends). Do not say anything about the girl’s weight, hair or body features. It is way beyond your conversational boundaries.
This is what leads to emotional abuse, the most lethal for m of abuse. There is a reason why I call it the most lethal – the scars are not tangible. It is because you cannot provide physical evidence for it. So, do not say anything you would not say to your sister (young or old). Do not say something you would not say to your future daughter.
I want you to be a young man every girl at school, in your community and even at foreign places admires. You are more than capable of being a gentleman. You are not a man when you turn 18. By virtue of being born male, you are a man already. Be a good man.
Remember, girls like us boys, we will evoke different emotions in each other. That is how you start discovering your true character.
As a teen I hated being mocked about my height. I was called giraffe, nicknamed longest weekend and the road to heaven. These and other insults damaged my self-esteem badly. I would get angry and sometimes cry.
They would tease me and tell me that by the time I turned 18, I wouldn’t get through a normal door frame or be able to find shoes or clothes in retail stores. I was young and naive. We were very poor at home so the thought of struggling to get any shoes doubled by the unthinkable struggle to get a pair of fitting shoes left me miserable.
All these terrible jibes were made by both girls and boys at school.
Violence and abuse is not immune to you, bro, or exclusively for girls or women. It affects us too as boys and men. Be vigilant. Speak out if you have had any kind of unusual encounters that made you feel uncomfortable. You too could be a victim of violence.
You and I should do more than just pin on a ribbon. I want to challenge you to make a vow today: Say to yourself each day that you are going to speak words of encouragement, motivation and inspiration to anyone you come in contact with.
Whatever characteristics you are nurturing are likely to define who you’ll become in the future. So be careful.
Let’s make it 365 days of activism for the fight against abuse of women and children – yourself included. Yours truly, Brother, mentor and YMM founder.