Yay! It’s the merry masturbation month of May, folks

I HAVE never understood why in so many cultures masturbation is considered wrong. Then I realised it’s because it’s fun. Now all I have to figure out is why fun is often vilified.

Masturbation is NOT a sin. It will not make you blind, let you grow hair on your palms, make you go mad or any of the other terrors that you have been threatened with. There is no proof of any of it. If the hair on our palms was true, show me one person. There must surely be one because many of us masturbate. We just don’t talk about it.

I recently saw a picture of someone wearing a T-Shirt that read “Masturbation is Self Rape”. The idiot wearing it obviously has no idea what rape is or feels like. A violent act perpetrated on someone else. An act of extreme violence and power that leaves the survivor scarred and fearful. It is nothing like masturbation which is an act of self-love and exploration.

If you continue to believe that masturbation is a sin or wrong you really need to speak to someone and not the person who taught you this nonsense in the first place. Your body is a temple. It should be honoured and looked after in every way. Touching yourself is one of those ways.

We blow our noses, cry, spit, urinate and have bowel movements. All natural and biological, these natural acts are all okay. Anything to do with sex, not so much. Think about ejaculation, menstruation and touching your genitals and your guilt and shame jumps out to meet you. Why?

Please put a stop to this rubbish in the 21st century.

Masturbation is an excellent and safe way to relieve stress and learn about your body. Parents often smack or shame their children for touching their genitals. Behave like a decent human being and teach your child that touching genitals is pleasurable and wonderful but it’s a solo act and should be done in private. You teach them to use the bathroom for other bodily functions, why not also for masturbation? Respect their privacy.

Masturbation, in privacy, can teach men how to last longer and when they have sex with someone else they will make that person extremely happy. If masturbation is always a quick rub before anyone catches you, chances are you will suffer from premature ejaculation or be the 3-second wonder. Your masturbation routine should be healthy and honourable. You will be able to teach yourself all sorts of tricks.

When it comes to women masturbating I often meet women who have never even tried. They are more often than not the women who have never had an orgasm or suffer from vaginismus (a locking of the vagina).

Masturbation is the best way to discover your body. What you like, what you don’t and how to orgasm. If you know these things when you have sex with someone else, you can guide them. If you don’t know, how will they?

Masturbation will also teach a woman that contrary to what she has read or heard, sex is a pleasure. It is not painful and the tingle between her legs is biology, NOT love.

Your hand and your genitals should be best friends. Explore, plan and play.

We have toys for every form of recreation so why not masturbation? I’m an advocate for toys for every occasion. You should have a different toy for every kind of mood. I often have a favourite for a month or two and then move on to something different, hence my cupboard of toys.

Men often complain about the limited range of toys available to them. This is changing and the latest toy that has won every award is “Hot Octopus”. It is considered the world’s first “guybrator”. The penis fits into it and the vibration on it is extremely pleasurable. The vibration helps draw blood to the penis so it can help those with erectile problems.

Fleshlight and Tenga are both penis sleeve manufacturers who are bringing out increasingly more pleasurable and sophisticated designs. Go online and check them out.

I recently became the proud owner of “Wish”, the new addition to the We Vibe range of toys. I can tell you that I have found my new favourite for the next couple of months. It rocks in all the right places. The first stock sold out in a flash. The next shipment lands next week and if I was you I would pre-book yours.

Toys are available to suite any pocket, from luxury to beginner. There are just as many different types of toys for any kind of play. Take a look on our website, www.lolamontez.co.za or watch our videos on Youtube.

Masturbation is normal and should be a part of your life even when you have a partner. Don’t hide it. Who knows, maybe they’d like to watch. So when should you stop masturbating? Never.

sharon@lolamontez.co.za