Comfortable in own skin after coming out

‘I WAS married for around seven years. When I came out to my family. I was 31. Coming out was like moving to a different planet. I came from a very straight, religious background and had no real reference to what gay meant.

“It was tough. I didn’t relate to anyone and nobody could relate to me. I didn’t know how this would play out or how it would work.

“It was quite difficult. My family and close friends reacted really badly when I broke the news.

“It was dif ficult for them and they couldn’t accept that I had left my wife. I always want e d a child, and so they thought I had done this on purpose. I didn’t. Being g ay for me was not something I was aware of when I was younger.

“It wasn’t something I planned but they didn’t take the news well at all.

“They struggled, but eventually t hey came around. Today, they still struggle and it’s eight years later. I came out very late because I didn’t have any reference of being gay.

“I also didn’t make a strong dif ferentiation between men and women, and so I did what my family did and got married because that’s what I thought men did.

“You grow up; you find a wife, have children and live happily ever after. I was married for seven years, struggled, and couldn’t understand why I was different.

“When I met someone that I fell in love with, I realised this was a bit difficult because I couldn’t be in love with a man and be married to a woman. “I don’t walk around professing that I’m gay. It’s not necessary nor is it anyone’s business, but you do get to live a certain kind of truth of who you are. It makes it easy.

“I like who I am today. Back then I didn’t know who I was. Now I’m comfortable in my own skin.

“I still think that women are very beautiful and I’m still attracted to women. I just prefer having sex with men.” ( Kevin Britz – Joburg)