Sense and sensibility in the bedroom, and a play list, leads to a happy ending

Sensual play 1

SEX should be spontaneous, like in the movies? Right? Wrong – very wrong! I now know that the best sexual encounters require a bit more work. Preparation is key!

Before you do anything, you need to have a chat about your likes and dislikes, fantasies and desires with your partner. Discuss what you would like out of a potential play date. If you are looking at each other blankly with no ideas, download the bondage contract as a starting point. If you are still at a loss, follow the instructions and enjoy.

Preparation: Room temperature

Too hot or too cold is equally uncomfortable. About 24ºC is perfect. Your partner may have a preference so take that into consideration.

Surface

Are you using the bed, floor, table or chair? Make sure they are clean or covered. Change the bedsheets and keep a small and a large towel handy, especially if you are planning to be messy.

Accessories

What are you planning? Ensure you have everything ready and within reach. There is nothing sexy about having to pop out or take a break from the play to fetch something.

Children

Nothing puts a dampener on your sex life like children. Chances are they will walk in on you. Nobody is going to relax while they’re in the house, so ship them out.

Ideas

Sensual play engages the senses: touch, smell, taste, sight and sound. You don’t want sensory overload, so pick one or two and work with those.

Remember, if you are de- prived of one sense, the others are heightened. Start with blindfolds (a scarf or silk tie).

Because you can’t see, the skin becomes more sensitive. Sound adds an extra dimension to your play. Imagine being blindfolded and listening to a specially put-together play list, streaming through earphones. So now you cannot see what is happening next, nor can you hear. See my Sexy Play List suggestions. Now it’s time to plan the play. You will need: A blindfold (optional) Fluffers (faux fur mit- tens)

Your breath Massage bed (optional). You can do this exercise on the bed or floor; just ensure it’s comfortable.

Play list (optional)

Time:

This exercise should take at least 27 minutes, the same time it usually takes to fully arouse a woman.

Having completed the preparation, undress your partner slowly, adding appropriate kisses. Invite your partner to lie face down on the prepared area.

How:

Apply the blindfold and put on the play list. Check that your partner is comfortable and warm enough. Cover them with a towel if necessary.

Put on the “fluffers”. You can use makeshift mittens if you don’t have “fluffers”. Anything soft and sensual will work, but “faux fur fluffers” are the bomb!

For seven to 10 minutes with long, slow strokes, run your hands from the top of the head to the toes. Move in one direction only. Don’t forget to touch the sides, arms, hands and neck.

Touch gently. Touch every inch – just don’t touch the genitals.

Use your breath as an additional sensation tool. Follow the stroke with a slow outbreath.

Once your partner is completely relaxed, whisper close to their ear – “turn over”.

Repeat the same motions on the front side of your partner’s body.

Avoid the primary erogenous zones – breasts, nipples and genitals. You can skirt over them, but do not concentrate on them. I know it’s tough – but try!

Follow some of the slow strokes with an out-breath.

Breath work on the nipples and genitals near the end of the play is extremely sensual and arousing.

If you lick the area first and then exhale or inhale, the sensation is heightened even more.

You can end the play here or proceed to more intimate genital touching.

I have no doubt that by the end of this, you will both be looking forward to a happy ending!

For more ideas on Sensual Play, keep coming back.

sharon@lolamontez.co.za