Let love grow in a conscious relationship

OFTEN asked but seldom answered – this week’s question comes from Henk on Twitter: “There is all this talk about conscious relationships, but I still don’t’ know what it is about. Please enlighten me?”

Hi Henk, I don’t blame you for asking this question. There are not a lot of good answers when you Google this question.

One study has concluded that six out of 10 people admitted to not knowing how to improve their relationships.

A conscious relationship exists between two people when at least one of the partners is aware of reflection as a form of personal growth.

I like to explain it as a mirror-relationship, where your projections bounce back at you. A projection is when what you are assuming about what is going on and what you say is about the other person, but in fact is actually about you.

Various aspects of what happens within the relationship space are interpreted as aspects of reflection within your own personality.

In a normal relationship you will blame your partner for what you cannot accept about him or her.

In a conscious relationship you consider that emotionally loaded aspects are shadow aspects of yourself.

This puts a new spin on possibilities of what can be done to improve relationships. The signifier of a conscious relationship is that two people have one conscious purpose, and that is personal growth.

Instead of making decisions because they suit you, you now consider the personal growth aspect it has for you to make a different decision.

The relationship is viewed in terms of accelerated individual growth at a soul level. You have a partner that is predestined to help you evolve on a spiritual level. Some people refer to these as soul contracts or twin souls.

It takes courage to commit voluntarily to live in a space where you are vulnerable and to not defend your actions.

Be prepared to live naked to integrate shadow aspects of your personality, as you discover them through reflections. Let’s be honest, this appears to be the opposite of a comfortable relationship.

The biggest benefit of a conscious relationship is that you release your partner from the expectation of making you happy, when you realise that it was a romantic notion which has faded over time.

Conscious relationships require a paradigm shift. Most couples, according to the same survey, rated their sex life as six out of 10, and 25% of them described sex as more functional than perfect.

I believe that there are different levels to relationships: conquering a partner; being in a relationship where you step into roles as you were taught to be a man or a wife; and becoming the generation of relationships leading into a conscious age of growing as free-willed individuals in a very soul satisfying way.

When your relationship reaches a stage where you need change, consider a conscious relationship before you consider separation.

Adelé Green is a Transformation Specialist Coach and the International Author of “Can You See Me Naked:

grow in a conscious relationship”. Post your burning question on www. adele-green.com/askadele/ or tweet on @nakedwithadele with #askadele. Also listen to

#360Brunch, Sundays on Mix93.8fm.