When a man hits a woman
decisions, I want to make the best decisions.”
A source recently insisted that Kourtney was “done” with Disick after moving on with new beau Bendjima.
The insider said: “She’s done treating Scott like a baby and worrying how he’ll react to her every move.
“She cares for and respects the father of her children, but romantically... it’s just over.” MY BESTIE and I were discussing our children recently. Hers left home some time ago and she is missing him terribly. Mine are like homing pigeons, they go away for a while and then return for a day or two and sometimes a year or three. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Children are leaving home later and later but what do you do when they eventually leave and you now have to deal with the empty nest and your spouse. Chances are you haven’t looked at each other for years and now there is this silence that has to be faced.
Here are just a few challenges, all of which will impact your sex life:
Physical environment: your house is emptying out, the rooms are not what they once were, they may even be neater!
Ageing: physically, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually. You have both changed.
You may not even recognise your partner after all these years.
You’ve gone from parents to “empty nesters”. What are you going to do now that you no longer have weekend games to schlep your children to?
Sources also believe that Kourtney is “having a lot of fun” with her new boyfriend, whom she met through mutual friends.
Another insider said: “Kourtney and Younes are hooking up (but) it’s not serious yet. They are having a lot of fun together and it’s very casual.
“They met t hrough mutual friends in Los Angeles.” – Bang Showbiz
I suggest you rediscover each other and up the sex stakes! Here are ideas to start your post “kid-exit” relationship.
You know the day is coming and then all of a sudden the car is packed, and off they go.
That first night may feel like the wedding night all over again so skip it because it will probably be as disappointing as the first night! Stay in or go out, but spend the time together.
Discuss how you feel and what you’d like to see happen next.
It’s taken you about 20 years to get to this point, it’s not going to take a night to fix what’s been neglected for so long. Baby steps!
Maybe you’ll both feel a bit sad about the new space that you find yourself in. Or maybe you’ll be excited and want to make plans for the future. Make room for whatever it is that you feel.
When my children left, I barely noticed. They did not move out with all their clothes, books and trophies. GAL GADOT loved wearing her “super-strong and sexy” Wonder Woman outfit.
Gadot, 32, starred as the iconic superhero in the Patty Jenkins-directed Wonder Woman, and she has been thrilled with her character’s fierce on-screen appearance.
She said: “I love the costume, I think it’s superstrong and sexy at the same time.
“But the first time in the costume it was so tight I could not breathe.
“They made things better this time. It was pretty comfortable, apart from the cold. We shot in England in the middle of winter, wearing not much. It was so cold I could hardly talk.”
Gadot served in the Israeli army, but admitted to being unprepared for the physicality of the role when she was first cast in Wonder Woman.
She underwent a rigorous fitness regime, thereby allowing her to slip into her tight-fitting outfit for the film.
Gadot said: “I couldn’t even do one pull-up when I started. I had a tent in the studio and every time we had a break I went training, so I was training all the time.”
The role of Wonder Woman was first played by Lynda Carter in the popular 1970s TV series.
Gadot struck up an instant friendship with Carter last year.
She said: “From the very first moment I met her I totally understood why she was the first Wonder Woman. She has such a special energy and presence.
“She’s funny, and smart, and she’s ALISON Brie has warned her father “at length” about her risqué scenes in The 34-year-old star plays an actress turned professional wrestler in the 1980s in her new Netflix show and has tried to give her dad the “heads-up” when the risqué scenes take place so he can fastforward past them.
She said: “I’ve warned my dad at length. Then reminded him again, and then (I’ve) sort of given him a heads-up of exact (moments)… so he’s warned.” Alison is thrilled to star in
because it promotes female empowerment.
“I love the energy, within this scary political climate, that we just have a lot of women rising up, making their voices heard. This is a show about women making their mark and it’s super cool.”
The brunette beauty feels she has had a “very empowering year”, having got married to actor Dave Franco.
“I think it’s a great time in my life. Being married is similar to working on it’s been an empowering year. Wrestling and marriage, they’re both just like, ‘Yeah, I can take on anything!’” – Bang Showbiz
They did not take their old bed or bedroom furniture.
No, they only took the hip and cool and the PlayStation! So it may require a little spring clean and rearranging the “nest” to get full impact.
It can be simple line moving the furniture around and changing the lighting, or as complicated as full-scale renovations.
Changing your physical space can change the way that energy flows through that space.
And even if energy flow means noth- ing to you, moving stuff around can change the way it feels to move through rooms.
This is one way to create new possibilities for sexual exploration by shaking up your routine.
Now that the kids have left you can have sex in every room. Chances are you won’t but do try to switch things up a bit.
Maybe even rearrange the bedroom furniture or redecorate. It will make a difference.
Have you ever joked about not having to care how you look because you are married? That has to stop. Nobody wants to have sex with a smelly “schloomfer”.
One way to bring sexual or erotic energy into your relationship is to get back into the habit of thinking of your partner and dressing for effect. So throw out worn and stretched undies.
Be careful not to make the mistake of thinking that you actually know everything there is to know about each other. I promise you don’t. You’ve had over 20 years to change.
We all hold sexual secrets and desires that we haven’t shared. You may not feel safe enough to do so yet but that’s what the next part of your journey should be about. Start by sharing something you think your partner doesn’t know about you. If you are the partner and you did know, ask yourself why your partner thought you didn’t instead of being defensive and humiliating!
Your body has changed, so has your partner’s.
This never stops. We always think of this as what we’ve lost but maybe we should start thinking about it in terms of what we’ve gained. I’m glad some things have changed. It’s a bit easier to navigate the sexual waters.
I’m not mad about getting older and I’m trying to do it gracefully and discover new things. What works for me now. I do know that what worked when I was 20 now irritates the living cells out of me.
Start by taking a body tour. Download the body map off my site and follow the instructions. Go to www.blog.lolamontez .co.za For questions and comments e-mail sharon@lolamontez.co.za VIOLENCE against women is no small topic in South Africa.
Although we ought to break the silence, many women deal with this on a daily basis with little support.
This week’s question comes from Sam in Johannesburg: “I recently got divorced and went back on the dating scene. I met a guy on Tinder and we took it slow. But after four months, it took a bad turn. He beat me up. I am so afraid.
What can I do to feel safe again inside myself ?”
There is no justification for hitting a woman. In our country, the boundaries are blurred with cultural diversity.
The true boundaries are made by the permission women give when they are challenged to tolerate how they are treated and how they, in return, treat men.
We all listen to stories of abuse. Everyone puts accountability somewhere else. This is indicative of how badly we deal with the issue.
But that does nothing real for the women who find themselves in a co-dependent relationship
with a man under the auspices that “he loves her”.
The best advice I can offer you, Sam,
forward in your life with a clearer way to easily identify and avoid physical abusers.
Emotional abuse can do the same to our psyche as physical abuse, and also requires a vigilant reaction.
Most people who are abused physically first have to deal with it on an emotional level.
Finally, I want to leave you with an important thought: Ask yourself what role you played in all of this and then forgive yourself.
The hardest thing for a victim to do is to not blame themselves.
This will create a repetitive pattern in your life of abuse.
Green is a transformation specialist coach and the International Author of Can You See Me Naked: Grow In A Conscious Relationship. Post your burning question on www.adelegreen.com/askadele/ or tweet on @nakedwithadele with #askadele. Also listen to #360Brunch, Sundays on Mix93.8fm.