GOLDEN ARROWS’ SIYANDA ZWANE

Mangethe, welcome to our ‘In Touch With’ page. Your former Mamelodi Sundowns teammate, Mame Niang, had something to say about you in last week’s edition. Ha, ha, ha, I saw that. He’s crazy that one! What he told you was all true – our hotel was very close to the beach and I’m one guy who always suffers from flu every season. Even if I get vaccinated, I still get flu. I was warned not to get into the beach in case I catch flu, but I just couldn’t resist the temptation. As Mame told you, I couldn’t play on the weekend because I was sick. To this day, he still reminds me of that incident and he calls me a ‘weak Zulu’, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, there must be a lot of funny stories in your memory tank and we will just allow you to take the lead and we follow. Errr… I will start with one CAF Champions League trip and I think we were in Nigeria or something. Normally, when we travelled in the continent, the roads were always narrow, with a lot of traffic congestion. We always had a lot of time on the bus to talk about everything while the driver was navigating our way through. I used to sit at the back with (Anthony) Laffor, Kennedy Mweene, Denis Onyango, Hlompho Kekana, Teko Modise and Cuthbert Malajila. We were more like the ‘destruction boys’ of the team in that back seat and made a lot of noise. Ha, ha, ha, a crazy bunch for sure. Although we ‘ruled’ in the bus, making noise and all that, we always had to listen to Laffor because he has so many stories. One time he told us he was a soldier before turning professional and that he would kill for fun whenever they were in war. I was like, “No, man, if that’s the case, why did you decide to leave the army and play footfoot ball?” Before he could answer my question, Malajila interjected, “Do you know why he decided to play football? It is because whenever they were going to war, they never took him with. He was not a real soldier that would go to war; he was just a cook. He was their chef and he grew tired of cooking for other men.” We all burst into loud laughter because we didn’t see that one coming, let alone Laffor claiming to have been a soldier. What was Laffor’s comeback? Ha, ha, ha, he didn’t really have much to say after that because it turned out that Malajila knew someone from Liberia who is said to have told him the story.story I will never forget that moment because Laffor’s facial expression was just unbelievable! The thing about Laffor is that he’s a really confident guy in himself. He never wants to be defeated, no matter what or who it is, but he and Malajila were always on each other’s case. I remember we were playing pool in camp, at the clubhouse, and Laffor likes to make promises that he never fulfils. This one time, he promised to cut his tongue if Malajila scored the black ball, which was his only remaining ball on the table. Just before Mala took the shot, he stopped and asked Laffor to repeat what he had just said. Laffor repeated it. Mala ran to the kitchen, came back with a knife and put it on top of the pool table. He then played his shot and scored the black ball, ha, ha, ha. He then turned to Laffor and said, “My man, you promised to cut your tongue. Here’s a knife, deliver on your promise for once.” Ha, ha, ha, you won’t believe what Laffor said to get himself out of this one. Ha, ha, ha, what was his way out? He said, “My man, in the army we used a gun to cut someone’s tongue, not knives. Bring me a gun and I will do it.” Ha, ha, ha, I meanmean, where was the guy going to get a gun from? That’s just how Laffor rolled, my man – he always had something to say and never wanted to lose. He would never admit whenever he lost a bet or something, but let him win, ha, ha, ha, you will never hear the end of it. Whenever we were on road trips, we’d discuss a lot of things sitting at the back. I remember when a question was asked by one of the guys: Why is it so difficult for men not to cheat? Everyone had their say and we all agreed that we’re all guilty of cheating at some point in our lives. Our captain, Hlompho Kekana, stole the show that day, ha, ha, ha. His answer to that question was, “No, no, no, me, I’ve never cheated! I’ve been exploring all along!” Ha, ha, ha, you know. the way he said it, man, I can’t even come close to matching it. He was so believable and serious, ha, ha, ha. He went on to say he’d explore until he finds someone he can call his wife. That man is crazy, man. Do you know he’s been getting married every December for a number of years now? What!? Whenever we asked him, “When are you Nickname: Mangethe, Snxadu, The Beast

Car: Toyota Tazz, ha, ha, ha.

Boots: Puma EvoSPEED

Marital status: Single

Favourite TV programme: SuperSport TV

Favourite food: Samp and tripe

Facebook or Twitter: I’m an Instagram guy.

Siyagobhoza or interviews: Interviews

Favourite celebrity: Kevin Hart, ha, ha, ha

Day or night games: Night getting married because you’ve been in a solid relationship for years now?” he’d be like, “In December my guy” and he’s so consistent at it. Let’s say it is June... Hlompho will, in the middle of a serious meeting, announce that he’s getting married in December and that everyone is invited. We would all be happy for him, then December approaches and we ask him, “Keke, are we still on for December?” The captain will change his tune, “Guys, can’t you see we are busy playing Champions League and other games? I don’t have time.” Ha, ha, ha, that will be his response until the next year and he will promise to get married again in December. He always says we mustn’t bring anything because everything will be on him. He will even dress everyone... can you believe that? I think that’s a sign that the guy’s wedding is one we will never see. I mean, who dresses the guests at their wedding? Ha, ha, ha, but we will keep waiting. Ha, ha, ha, looks like you guys have a long wait ahead of you. On that note, let’s hold it there for this week, mate. Chat again next week. Ha, ha, ha, sure my brother.

By Vuyani Joni