In Touch With... GOLDEN ARROWS’ SIYANDA ZWANE (PART 3)

Mangethe, let’s go back to your first stint at Golden Arrows, where you’ve since returned – surely there must be a lot of funny stories from that era. A lot! Normally Sis Mato (Madlala) would hire only black coaches in order to maintain the team’s culture and accommodate her players in terms of communication. You’ll remember that there was not a single white guy in the team, at the time, and most of the players couldn’t communicate well in English. That time (of hiring only black coaches) came to an end as she had to hire a white coach. She got a coach named Zoran Filipovic. On his first day, trying to get to know his players, the coach kept asking questions and speaking to everyone. After training, apparently, he noticed that there was no energy from most of the players and then he asked, one by one, what we had for breakfast before coming to training. The question got to one of our players called Mthunzi, and everyone went quiet because we knew that he wasn’t good friends with the Queen’s language. His response was, “Err… coach, I cooked a sandwich!” Needless to say, everyone was in stitches and it was just unbelievable. Ha, ha, ha, eish. There was also a time when my good friend, Thamsanqa Gabuza, had a disagreement with our physical trainer. They were exchanging words and then this guy said, “You know what, Gabuza, one day I will put you in your place!” They continued to argue and then the guy pushed Gabuza to the ground. As he was on lying there, he looked up at the guy and asked, “This is my place?” pointing to the ground. Ha, ha, ha, my boy clearly didn’t get the guy’s point and thought he was already ‘put in his place’ by that fall. That was really funny. Sounds like you have another Gabuza story. There’s this one time Gabuza, me and friends went out as we had a weekend off...off I think it was a FIFA break. We got to this restaurant, got a nice table and seated. True to his form, Gabuza looked around to see if he could see any ladies because he doesn’t like it when we’re just among ourselves even on a boys’ night out. He always wanted to chill with ladies. So there were three ladies sitting on another table. Gabuza walked up to them and tried to persuade them to join us. He got there and went like, “Hi ladies, how are you? I’m Gabuza, I’m sure you know me, I play for Golden Arrows.” One of the ladies was like, “What is Golden Arrows?” Ha, ha, ha, eish, to which Gabuza said, “Ok, ningawari (don’t worry), can you guys please join me that side, I’m with my friends, if you don’t mind.” This was all in Zulu, just so people don’t get confused, ha, ha, ha. The ladies told him they couldn’t because they were waiting on people, so they didn’t want to make trouble in case those people found them with us. Gabuza still wouldn’t give up and asked how long before those people arrived, then the ladies said in an hour’s time. Right. My boy told the ladies not to worry because they will go back to their table before an hour is over and he will make sure of it. The ladies finally gave in and joined us. We were all having a great time and no one even bothered to check the time. We also had no idea what the real deal was between Gabuza and the ladies. We carried on enjoying ourselves until three guys walked in. My man, you could clearly see that those guys frequented the gym. They were so muscular, but there was one who was bigger than the others and I think he was the main man, financially. They came to our table, greeted and asked us to please excuse their ladies. Obviously, it was not like we didn’t know that the ladies were expecting people, so I saw no reason for there to be any trouble. Exactly. Gabuza being GabuzaGabuza, he stood up and was like, “Hey, what do you want? What do you want?” He went to the strongest-looking guy and knocked him out with one punch. He then turned to the ladies and said, “You see, I told you, you’re safe with me.” So we are all looking at this guy on the floor, ha, ha, ha. Eish, the man got up and they all looked like wrestlers, so I really don’t know what Gabuza was thinking. The guy stood up and went like, “Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...” you know how muscular guys scream when they’re showing their muscles off, and Gabuza disappeared in no time, ha, ha, ha. He ran out of the restaurant, leaving us with his mess. We just told the guys that we had nothing to do with what had happened and the ladies also confirmed that Gabuza was actually the one who asked them to join us, so the guys just walked away. We couldn’t stop laughing at the fact that Gabuza was brave enough to knock the guy out but when the guy was back on his feet and showed his muscles off, he was no longer brave at all, ha, ha, ha. That’s one of the incidents I will never forget – in fact, I always laugh whenever I think about it even if I’m all by myself. Crazy stuff, man, ha, ha, ha. Indeed. Our captain was Thanduyise Khuboni, who is another good friend of mine, so you know there will always be media days at our training grounds from time to time. Khuboni once asked me, “Hey, Siyanda, I hear there are journalists outside, please go ask which media houses are here.” I came back and told him there’s Ilanga, Isolezwe, Daily Sun and Daily News. I also said, “I’m told Daily Sun and Daily News are the only ones here for you.” He was like, “No, no, I want to speak to Isolezwe and Ilanga.” Ha, ha, ha, ha, I couldn’t stop laughing. He got out of the change room pretending to have a toothache and used the sign language to indicate to the journalists that he couldn’t do interviews, ha, ha, ha. I had to stand in for him, as I was his vice. He really enjoyed doing his interviews with Zulu-speaking journalists but that changed later on in his career as he started feeling comfortable speaking in English. Ha, ha, ha, sure. Sis Mato could see that most of the guys were not comfortable in English, so she came up with a plan. She took Khuboni and Philani Shange to do courses, including English, out of her own pocket, for the whole year. After about six months, she called one of the lecturers about the guys’ progress. She was told that her players come to classes every day but the moment the classes start, they fall asleep, ha, ha, ha. Apparently, that happened every day! Mind you, we mostly only trained in the morning, so they had the whole day to themselves before attending the classes in the evening. You know how it is in varsity or night school, no one will chase after you – as long as you pay, you will be okay, but your progress is entirely up to you. We couldn’t stop laughing when Sis Mato told us the story about our teammates, “You see these two, I spent my money on them to go and study, only to find out that they only go there to sleep,” she told us. We couldn’t believe it because these guys were always telling us about their studies. “Guys don’t call us at night because we are busy studying” was one of their favourite lines, hence we couldn’t stop laughing at them. Ha, ha, ha, Mangethe, thanks so much for the funny stories. We really enjoyed them. You’re welcome, bro.

“Gabuza disappeared in no time, ha, ha, ha.” “The moment the classes start, they fall asleep.”