I was mentally messed up

“TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, MASEBE, I DON’T THINK I WAS COMPLETELY CLEARED BY FIFA WHEN I PLAYED FOR PIRATES.”

Judging by the response to Junaid Hartley’s interview in last week’s edition, the former South African junior international was truly a fan-favourite whose exploits on the field still leave football lovers reminiscing. On course to make up for lost time after his life was hugely affected by substance abuse and having to spend over a year in a rehabilitation centre, he has since owned up to his mistakes with the hope that others learn from his errors of judgment. What would he change about his football career if he had to do it all over again? What complications did his spell in France have to endure, just before linking up with Orlando Pirates? What was the first thing he did soon after receiving a large amount of cash from Dr. Irvin Khoza? Readers, enjoy the second and last instalment of the 45-year-old’s interview with Soccer Laduma’s Masebe Qina, as Hartley provides answers to these and other questions.

Masebe Qina: Welcome back, Junaid. Such an eye-opening interview you gave us in last week’s edition of Soccer Laduma. You spoke about not having robbed people during your days begging on the street, but actually robbing yourself as well as your family from being a brother, father and son. But don’t you think you also robbed South Africa? Many fans still wonder what you would have gone on to achieve had you stayed on the straight and narrow…

Junaid Hartley:

Coming into that question, when I was in therapy, we needed to identify what were the reasons that were causing me to want to try and enjoy substance. What I saw when I was high, what I felt before I got high compared to how I felt when I calmed down. The findings were that it was maybe because of trauma from when I was growing up from the death of a brother, and as the career went on, also the death of a mother, and not too long ago the death of a father. Those were some of the reasons, that there was an underlying deeper-rooted issue that caused me depression. It took us a while to get to the bottom of the problem – it took a psychiatrist, therapy and a psychologist to come together and it took them months to identify it. So, as a youngster growing up… remember you were in the limelight from a young age, it wasn’t easy. In the juniors, I had done very well, and up until today I don’t think that there is anybody at junior national team level that has scored more goals than me from the U17, U20 and U23 age groups. So, I set certain expectations for myself, and unfortunately those heights were not reached. I am saying all these things because we call a spade a spade now. That was the underlying depression that kept on growing. In saying that and being what it is, it doesn’t take away from what you already achieved. If you were to compare to a lot of others that are still making a living out of the game whether it is in coaching, commentary or any other aspect of the game, you find that they achieved less than you. The only thing that is going to get you back at it is to bring back your desire and passion of football. You can then go back and achieve your dreams and the expectations that you set through somebody else. You need to go and coach young people. So, I’ve got no doubt, and I will be the first to admit it, that there is a big underachieving aspect regarding the ability, but I’m not going to overlook what has been achieved. There is no room for excuses. There is right and wrong, and there is nothing in-between.

MQ: If you had to do it all over again, what would you change about your football career?

JH:

From having gone through all the fundamental stages of development in South Africa, I wouldn’t change anything. Having the parents I had, I would want them to come back again, and in that I wouldn’t change anything. And with the siblings, I wouldn’t change anything. Any of the teams and my teammates, I wouldn’t change anything. Maybe the only thing that I would have done differently is that I would have had patience when I got to France. I should have been more understanding about the twoyear apprentice, and I should not have gone to Portugal. Yes, I already arrived there as a professional, and having to start in the second team I should have understood that I needed to prove myself even if it was a little bit of a challenge. I should have proved myself more to be one of them by playing with them, but a little bit of frustration crept in. A little bit of patience could have helped, I still believe.

MQ: Did you ever have any problems with the coaches who coached you, because of the character you were and your style of play?

JH: In life, you have to adapt to change and realise that you are in a profession. I think that at Ajax (Cape Town, now Cape Town Spurs), I proved a lot wrong, where I produced a lot of game orientations that could keep it simple yet come up with the element of surprise. The coach identified my efficiency, and, in that way, I enjoyed game-time. I didn’t have a problem with coaches.

MQ: Do you still follow the local game? What do you think?

JH:

Based on Sunday night’s (Bafana Bafana) performance, I would say we were unbelievable. I want everybody to know that football is the most forgiving game that you can ever come across. After the game, someone reminded me of the U17 game between us and Namibia at Marks Park and I remember that game vividly. I scored four goals in that game (Note: Records show that Hartley, in fact, scored three goals) and we won 9-0. At junior level, I was the highest goal scorer in the country.

MQ: We asked about the houses you owned at the peak of your career. What about the flashy cars? How many did you own?

JH:

Over that period when I was playing, I owned about six cars. When I made my professional debut in the topflight, I was 15. I was playing for Wits University under John Lathan, who was the club’s head coach. When I played my last game in Malaysia, I was 30. One of the players I found in the Wits first team, having come through the development structures together, was Lovers Mohlala. I met Bradley Carnell and others in the first team.

MQ: What was your time at Orlando Pirates like?

JH:

When I came to Pirates, I still belonged to the French club that I had signed for after the U20 World Cup (RC Lens). I had scored two goals on my birthday against France in the World Cup and that’s what led to the French club signing me. Immediately after that game, my mailbox was full with offers from everywhere in the world. We decided to go with the French club because their deal was very lucrative. I spent two years in apprentice and then three years as a professional. It was a good club, and the money was good. When I signed with the club, I was excited and didn’t think that I would get frustrated. I got frustrated because for the first six months I was just training without playing. I was training with guys like the late Marc-Vivien Foe and other top stars. The club came to a decision that they were releasing me on loan to another team in Portugal to get regular game-time. I joined Vitoria Setubal in Portugal, but I had a little bit of an injury. In my first training session, the coach quickly noticed and called me aside and asked me why I was limping when running. He said he knew that the player that he signed in me wasn’t running like that. I went from a doctor to a specialist, but they couldn’t tell what the problem was. At the end of the month when they had to pay my salary, they were in dispute with the French club over who should pay my salary, because in their argument, they said they were sent an injured player. My focus was on getting healed so that I could play in the Olympics and therefore I ended up paying for myself to come to South Africa so that I could see a specialist. I went to the Sports Science Institute in Rosebank, and I went for an operation and there was progress. The French club undermined South African players and they didn’t follow all the due processes. They were not professional enough to deal with the situation and, on top of that, there was no payment to me from them or the Portuguese club, and those are things that can take a toll on one’s mental health. I was mentally messed up because of everything that I went through. I had just signed a lucrative contract that would ha ve been enough for me to never want to work again and then those things were happening.

MQ: Then you joined the Buccaneers… JH: When I went to see Irvin (Khoza, Pirates chairman) to finalise my move to the club, he gave me my signing-on fee right there and then. I took the money and went to a BMW dealership and bought a Z3. Yissus, my bro, it was crazy! But again, during that period I wasn’t getting a monthly salary because I was waiting for the case with the overseas clubs to get resolved. At Pirates, I found myself surrounded by top players, but I knew that I was the fittest; technically and conditioning-wise, I was in a perfect level. To be honest with you, Masebe, I don’t think I was completely cleared by FIFA when I played for Pirates.

MQ: From what we can tell, you come from a welloff family that always had your best interests at heart. Do you think that played some part in you gaining a reputation as an ill-disciplined player, since you knew whenever you messed up, they would be there to rescue you?

JH: Well, we were not from a well-off family. Things were tough and challenging, but my parents used to say, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” This motivated me to work very harder to improve the situation. One day, I asked my parents what their dream was, and they replied with the word “pilgrimage.” The plan was to pay the house up and start a business. A month later, there was Turkish interest. When I went to Turkey, it was preparation of pilgrimage. When they came to visit me, it was close to the Turkey-Syria border and Damascus. The biggest wish was granted as soon as they arrived back in South Africa, they booked their tickets and went on pilgrimage. The house was paid up and renovated, and therefore if there was anything that was referred to as a rescue, it would be football. Naturally, as a family we lived comfortably when I was earning. They contributed immensely to my game and that allowed me the space to decorate my purpose on the field. Up until today, who can say that the mistakes would end up being their bigger blessing? My parents were hardworking and demanded us to have values. My so-called attitude made me the U23 captain. I can’t recall being on the losing team with an armband.

MQ: Junaid, we applaud you for taking the initiative to get your life back in order and for speaking to us honestly about your struggles. Good luck with your future endeavours.

JH: Thank you, my brother. Just for clarity, about the Sassa comment last week, I actually meant that I do not receive the grant and didn’t apply for it.