I was dying inside

THAT NOT SAYING “I’M FEEL PEOPLE SHOULD THE FOR ME, BUT SORRY ME HAPPENED TO WAY IT MY MOM WAS WHEN I LOST HARD TO TAKE.” VERY

Everyone knows the story of how the legendary Jomo Sono ‘abandoned’ his wedding at the EvangelChurch ical Presbyterian in Orlando to go help his side Orlando Pirates win an important soccer match at Rand Stadium. This was late ’70s, and if this was not loyalty, sacrifice and pasoverdrive, sion in then we don’t know what is. Well, Puleng Marema’s dedito cated service Polokclub wane City, a he has served for so many years, may not come close in terms of legendary status, but t is a story worth telling, nonetheless.

For, on the back of losing his mother, who was his pillar of strength, he had to find the willpower to carry on. Not to mention having to receive the tragic news of his uncle’s passing on the eve of a key encounter for the Limpopo-based side, as they were chasing promotion last season. Still, the ball had to continue rolling, and fortunately, in his honour, the striker helped the side to the land of milk and honey, Mzansi’s topflight. It has been a fulfilling soccer career laced with the pain of loss, and in this interview, an emotional Marema opens up about it all to Soccer Laduma’s Masebe Qina. Readers, get the tissues out, this one is not for the faint at heart.

Masebe Qina: Puzaza, my outhi, why did we have to delay sitting for this interview, as you had to rush to the High Court soon after training?

Puleng Marema: Oh, about that, grootman yam (big man), my brother and I had to rush there to get some documents as part of the ongoing process of claiming our late parents’ monies from an insurance company. Angithi bashonile abazali (Both our parents are no more), and there’s a Letter of Authority that we needed to obtain from the High Court for the process to be completed.

MQ: Good luck with that and we are sorry about the loss of your parents. Good that you’re ensuring the process is completed as soon as possible after recent reports about some insurance companies playing hide-and-seek when it’s time for clients’ payouts to be processed.

PM: Yes, we are busy with the process and it’s almost towards completion. It’s true that there are dodgy insurance companies out there and people should be careful.

MQ: What led you to this point of having to claim for the insurance payouts for both of your parents?

PM: Actually, we lost our father a year before last, and I remember the day he passed away we were having a very important game. And then last year in December, i oulady lashona nalo (my mother also passed away). Eish eintlik (In fact), before kushone (the death of…) eish uyabona grootman, uyabona mfethu (you see…, Marema keeps quiet for a moment). It all happened in this sequence, my father passed away, followed by my uncle, i vrou (my wife) had a miscarriage before my mother also passed away. So, I lost four very important people in my life in a space of two years.

MQ: From all of us at Soccer Laduma, sincere condolences to you and your family. We understand your pain, but do you mind telling us about your father’s passing?

PM:

Eish i taima (about my father), when I was 10 years old, he got arrested and he was sentenced to 15 years in prison. He only returned home when I was 21, when he was released. When I looked at his condition on his return, I could see that his imprisonment had affected him very much physically and emotionally. For almost 11 years, I grew up without him being present in our lives, and I was with my mother and siblings all that time. When I started to bond with my father after he came back home, he started getting sick and by the time I got to have a good relationship with him, unfortunately he passed away.

MQ: Did your father watch you play on television when he was in custody?

PM:

When he came out, it was the same year that we won our first promotion to the PSL in the 2012/13 season. So, his release coincided with me playing in the top division for the first time and he got to watch me. When he was behind bars, I was scared to go and visit him, and you can imagine the fear of being exposed to something like that for a 10-year-old. My (elder) brothers and my mom used to visit him. But obviously, he knew that I love football even if he didn’t know that I would turn professional back then as I was still very young. He knew that my brothers played football, but he was protective about me being out late when I went to play, and he would constantly ask for my whereabouts when I wasn’t home in the evening. I am a short-tempered person and I get emotional easily, and therefore I avoided visiting him when he was in prison. I was okay that he was still alive and that there were family members who visited him from time to time.

MQ: Moving on, talk to us about your late uncle.

PM: I ankile (My uncle) passed away in December. Since my dad’s passing, I told myself that I still had a father in a way in the sense that I regarded my uncle as a father to me. We were very close, and he was one of the first people I would call whenever I went home when on a break from my football commitments. He was a loving person and a funny individual to be around. As far as I know, he wasn’t sick or anything like that, but as you know that nowadays and, in our lives, things happen suddenly. When he passed away, we were playing our second-last game of last season, and we were vying for promotion. I remember we were going to play against Platinum City Rovers,

and I was in camp when I

got a call informing me that my uncle passed away. It was very difficult for me to decide what to do because I desperately wanted to play that game to help the team and I just received the sad news. The way I was so keen on winning promotion, I opted to stay in camp and my uncle’s passing served as a motivation for me to play the game in his honour, as well as that of my father. Luckily, we won the game. Following the Rovers game, our last game of the season was going to be the next Sunday and the funeral had already been arranged for a day before, which was Saturday.

MQ: Tough one again, mdlali (player).

PM: Say that again grootman. As my uncle was being laid to rest that Saturday, I was in camp - you can imagine. I’m talking about someone who was more like a father to me. I had met with the family briefly on Friday, and I told them that I wouldn’t be there the next day for the funeral, and they understood. They knew how important the game was for me and the team, as well as my wish to play in the PSL (DStv Premiership) again. God does things in His way, man. That’s the game we won 4-0 against Pretoria Callies. I scored and was involved in two other goals. After the game on Sunday, I went home to be with my family, and it became more of a celebration than anything else with them congratulating me for winning the league and promotion. I was too emotional in finding myself celebrating the victory of a football game, while at the same time my uncle had just been buried. That’s why I feel like I have had a bad year, my brother, and thankfully the season isn’t far from coming to an end.

MQ: Yeah, almost there. PM:

Two weeks before the season started, I got a horrible injury. I mean, after all the celebrations for winning promotion, going into pre-season and looking forward to playing in the top division again after three years of campaigning in the NFD (Motsepe Foundation Championship), I broke two toes on my right foot. I had to go for an operation for the injury to heal, and you can imagine the sadness I felt. After everything I went through with losing family members and fighting so hard to gain promotion with the team, such a serious injury occurred. It was too much for me to take. My mind was flooded with memories of my wife and the miscarriage, as well as all the deaths in the family, and at that point, I felt I couldn’t take it anymore. Why is it that whenever I tried to be happy something bad happened? I was asking myself questions.

MQ: Glad you remained strong through it all, man, and here you are now telling your story. PM:

What is sad though is that when I started feeling better and recovering from injury, my mother had started getting sick, and she was in and out of hospital. During all that time, she was asking me so many questions, “When will you start playing again? When will we see you playing again?” For some reason, I think she was anticipating what was coming with her life, and she wanted to see me playing again before anything happened to her. I was stressing about a lot of things. I would be busy with my rehab, and while concentrating on that, I would get a call that I should rush home because my mother wasn’t feeling well and needed to be driven to hospital. It was difficult for me.

MQ: Did your injury troubles affect your mother and wife?

PM:

It was very difficult for all of us. My mom was stressing about a lot of things. She had just lost a husband not long ago, as well as a younger brother in my uncle, and obviously (she was stressing) about my wife. As I visited them frequently at home, I had to be that man who acted tough even though inside I was dying. As a man, I had to act strong for them to be also strong, but whenever I left home afterwards, I would be feeling the pain deep down. I had a lot going on in my mind. This season, I think I have played only six games, and can you imagine? I missed the first 10 games of the season.

MQ: And your mother lost the battle with illness, a bitter pill to swallow without a doubt, brother. How did you feel?

PM: My mom passed away mid-December. I understand that losing a loved one happens to everyone and I’m not saying that people should feel sorry for me, but the way it happened to me when I lost my mom was very hard to take. It isn’t easy getting over such a situation because of how it happened. On the day she took her final breath, I left her in my house looking fine and she was with my sister, and I went to training. My wife and I couldn’t be there for her all the time because of work commitments, and luckily my sister (cousin, as Marema only has four brothers as siblings), was there to take care of her. After training, I stopped at a shop to buy her some goodies. Just as I opened the door on my arrival at home, I spotted my sister sitting there alone and crying. Immediately, I could sense that something wasn’t right with my mother. My sister wouldn’t just cry, it meant there was something wrong, I just felt it. Coming from work and finding your mom’s lifeless body lying there and with your sister crying is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. That’s what killed me more. It felt like I was the one who had no life anymore. I do understand that I still have my brothers, wife and kids, but the people who were close to me and who passed away were also very important to me.

MQ: Psalm 147:3: “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” Those are the words we leave you with Puleng, and what a courageous man you are for opening your soul like you’ve done to the Soccer Laduma readers in this heart-rending interview.

PM: Thank you for the support, bro wam (my brother), we will talk.