LESVIN STOFFELS - UNATTACHED

Howzit Lesvin, it’s great to have you with us. Having been in the game for quite a while, you surely have a bag full of stories to share with us to make us have a good laugh. After all, this is what In Touch is all about, to cheer up the Soccer Laduma readers.

Firstly, let me say greetings to the readers of Soccer Laduma. I think it was Milano United’s first season in the National First Division when this story happened. We had a kitman named Kaba in the team. Eish, my man, there was a time when we were flying. We all knew that it was his first time flying. So, we were all in the plane and he was busy smoking outside. So, when he got on the plane, he just sat in the front row, ha, ha, ha. We were like, “Kaba, you must sit here at the back by us.” He said, “No, it’s cool.” Then that person who was actually supposed to sit there came in and asked him why he was sitting on his seat. Kaba’s response was: “It’s my first time on a plane”, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha. What a story. So, tell us, did he think he was in a taxi where he could sit anywhere?

What’s ironic about this one is that he actually worked with taxis before he joined Milano, ha, ha, ha.

We can imagine how funny that moment was. What did you guys say after that? One player shouted from the back and he said, “What did you smoke Kaba?” Then the manager told him that he must look at his ticket for his seat number. Then he found his seat, ha, ha, ha.

embarrassed at that

Was he not moment?

Ha, ha. Ha. No, never, that was Kaba for you. He was that person that also had something to say about everything. No matter what we were talking about, he wanted to be part of that conversation.

It sounds like there was never a dull moment when Kaba was around. Tell us more…

There was that one night we had supper at the hotel. It was actually the following day after Kaba was on his first flight. I think we played in Richards Bay. So, one of the players decided to pour some Tabasco sauce in Breslyn Hempe’s juice. My man, you should’ve seen his face and then everybody said it’s Kaba. He wanted to cry that night because it wasn’t him, ha, ha, ha.

Shame man. Why would they do that to Kaba? They were blaming him for something he did not do. Did they find the person who put the Tabasco sauce in Hempe’s juice? Shame man! Yes, they did find out who it was. It was Chad Robertson, ha, ha, ha. And on that note about drinking stuff, I was at a certain club, but I don’t want to mention names. You know how certain clubs do things, right? At this club, we needed to drink something, my man. I don’t even know what it’s called. They told me to drink and that I would score five goals on that day.

What is this thing that you needed to drink?

I don’t know, my brother. But I didn’t even score a single goal in that game, and we ended up losing. The way they say things just to make you believe it.

Was the drink even nice?

It was not nice at all. It tasted like medicine, ha, ha, ha.

Eish, that’s bad. And you did not even score on the day. Did this happen many times?

No, my man. It was just that day because it didn’t work, ha, ha, ha.

You are on a roll, Lesvin, ha, ha, ha. Let’s move on to the next story…

At Real Kings, we had the late coach Mike (Lukhubeni), may his soul rest in peace. We were in the bio-bubble that time in Pretoria. So, every time we went to supper, he used to stand like a security guard at the side where the players dished their food. When he saw that your plate was too big, he would say, “Eish, my man, you need to put the meat back.” After we were done eating, you would just hear him saying, “Take the meat to my room.” That was coach Mike, ha, ha, ha.

How much meat would he end up having?

Ha, ha, ha. My man, he would end up having a lot and he would finish everything. That was one funny coach. We could be training and then he would send the team’s driver to go buy him a Coke and something to eat, ha, ha, ha.

When hunger strikes, you cannot ignore it. So, he would have the Coke and food while you guys were training?

Yes, he would. But he would stand on the side there and eat, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha. What an interesting character he was. Thank you so much for your time, Lesvin. You kept us entertained and we’d definitely love to have you back in future to share more stories.

Thank you for the opportunity, and it’s a pleasure. I had a good time sharing these stories with the Soccer Laduma readers.