Famous puppet pulls no punches
CHESTER SHARES VIEWS ON SA, ZUMA AND LOVE
CHESTER Missing is undoubtedly the most famous and busiest puppet in the country at the moment.
The satirical character and political analyst for Late Night News on e.TV will be on stage with his Chester Missing Road Show in Johannesburg.
Chester laid bare his “life ” story, which resembles that of an orphan.
“Missing is my surname. That ’ s because I don ’ t know who I am. I was lost and this guy [Conrad Koch] found me on the road years ago,” Chester said.
“I don ’ t know where I came from and I didn ’ t know who I was. I went to the police station to report myself missing and when they asked for my surname, I said I didn ’ t know. So they wrote ‘ Missing ’.
“Even when I typed ‘ Missing ’ on Google to look for my siblings, it came up with the picture of the missing Nkandla report documents,” Chester said.
“I thought I worked at a the UCT Centre for African Studies but I can ’ t find any record of this. I ’ m a genius. I just know stuff. Me and Trevor Manuel are the same.”
Koch says Chester is 38 years old, and has been that age since he “found ” him.
Koch, 36, who holds a masters degree in social anthropology from the University of Cape Town, said he had been a ventriloquist since childhood as he was fond of cartoons.
Chester has made a lot of friends, including politicians like Malusi Gigaba and Mmusi Maimane.
Since he has no traceable origins, is Chester a South African then?
“I don ’ t know if I ’ m South African or not, but I hope so. I ’ m like a metaphor for South African identity. Who are we after apartheid?
“Do we accept these racial categories or do we reinvent ourselves? I don ’ t know,” Chester said. “We first have to deal with what happened during apartheid as it was about race, but also stop people from thinking that race is a real thing.”
Asked about where he lives and his full-time occupation, Chester said: “I live in a suitcase, but the ANC calls it a house. Like most South Africans I ’ m unemployed. But I work as a political analyst at large.”
Chester says though he doesn ’ t agree with the R200-million Nkandla house and the arms deal, there are lots of issues he agrees on with President Jacob Zuma – including polygamy.
As a matter of fact, the puppet claims to be “in a polygamous relationship with three Barbie dolls and has an off-and-on thing with Ferial Haffajee ”.
“Being polygamous is an African tradition. I have no problem with polygamy as long as you ’ re loyally and safely polygamous,” he said.
But if the president allocates him a house in his Nkandla compound, the puppet will stop giving him a hard time.
Chester ’ s message to young aspiring comedians is: “I suggest they get a puppet because puppets are just cleverer than people.”
The show is on at the Market Theatre until June 2. Tickets are available at Computicket.