Chris Brown a bit of a letdown
MADI doesn’t normally go to big concerts of these young artists who flock to South Africa in the hopes of seeing lions in our backyards, but for some odd reason she ended up at the Chris Brown concert at The Dome at the weekend.
The place was teeming like an ant hill next to Captain DoRegos. Thank goodness for VIP.
Anyway, because Madi couldn ’ t be bothered about Chris Brown going on about people not being loyal, she scavenged the venue, and of course bumped into a few monstrosities.
Amogelang Chidi, what in the world were you wearing?! Those bum shorts were so inappropriate, and you know it! They were digging into your nether regions so much, Madi was worried they would kill your arteries and you wouldn ’ t need an epidural when you have to give birth. No, girl.
Another thing Madi noticed was how people seemed to have left their significant others at home and went to the concert with other people. Madi was still gawking at Chidi ’ s foul outfit when this guy who referred to her as “baby ” literally dragged her away. Well, those in the know say he has a girlfriend who works at Rosebank Mall.
Another person Madi spotted with someone else on their arm was Thembi Seete ’ s boyfriend Bobo Seritsane. Madi saw him walking out of the venue with some unidentified woman with a bad weave. Yeah, they are all “just friends ” she ’ s sure.
Khanya Mkangisa! Madi spotted her with her beau, actor Matli Mohapeloa. She was all over him like white on a Jik commercial shirt. They were kissing and groping each other all over the place. Next time, get VIP tickets, guys. There ’ s privacy in VIP. And they could provide you with a bed, if you asked nicely.
Overall, the show was a bit of a letdown. Chris Brown put on an hour-long show, and at some point Madi got tired of his lip sync. To think people paid R1 500 for tickets. Sad.
Anyway, Madi also made her way to the Urban Zulu store in downtown Jozi where they showcased a mini collection.
Iko Mash showed up looking like he always does: a horse wearing make-up. A blast from the past came in the form of Sliq Angel. He performed a few songs. The boy has pipes, Madi gives him that. Now let ’ s put the minced fatcakes away, take a bath, and go record, shall we?
Finally, Madi would like to address singer Berita. And as Madi is such a respectful person, she thought she ’ d put it in a letter format, you know, like a dyslexic mother would write to an Etwatwa primary school principal to report her child ’ s absence due to diarrhoea. Dear Berita Baby girl, you are beautiful. What you use on your skin should be mailed to Paledi Segapo.
But Madi has been begging you to get a stylist who doesn ’ t use a braille sewing machine for months now, yet you continue to rock the intoxicated Sunday school teacher look, making Madi ’ s efforts all in vain. Plus, Madi saw you doing your hair before the Urban Zulu fashion show, and wanted to screech out for you not to use the dried-up snake again, but Madi was too late; it was sewn on tightly when she got to the salon table.
Please, I beg, fire your stylist and seamstress. You look like you ate Soul Brothers for supper with a Ladysmith Black Mambazo hot sauce to boot. Clean up, and maybe Madi can finally hear your beautiful voice.
Thank you.