Secret abortion has left me depressed

I AM 25 years old. A year ago I was involved with a man for six months.

He turned out to be a very bad person. He was a drug dealer and in the last few months of our relationship he started hitting me. I was scared of him but eventually found the courage to leave him.

A month after I left him I realised that I was pregnant. I didn ’ t discuss this with anyone and immediately had an abortion. I just knew that there was no way that I could have this man ’ s child. If he found out that I had his child, it would mean that he would be in my life forever and I was not prepared to risk that.

Having the abortion was very traumatic for me. It is against everything I believe in. I feel so guilty about doing this and I cannot get it out of my head. In spite of the baby being this man ’ s, it was also part of me. I cannot sleep or eat. I don ’ t know whether I can ever forgive myself.

Depressed, KwaMashu

You have been through a traumatic time on your own and I am sorry that you have suffered so much. The first thing you need to do is return to the doctor for a check-up to ensure that you are physically healthy.

You should consider discussing with him or her the depression you are going through and the fact that you cannot eat or sleep. Also ask to be referred to a professional counsellor who can help you to work through the pain you are suffering.

You need to reach out to the people who love you.

Your family might be disappointed but I am sure that they will offer you the support you need to get through this difficult time.

If you cannot speak to them, speak to your doctor and ask for help.