Defending Namba Wan from harming himself is painful
THE COOK SHIES TO LEAD
VERA was hoping to see some redemption of the Cook when news filtered through that some odd crowd in military fatigues were making their way to Jozi to protect uBaba from rebelling members of the ANC – talk of the dog chasing its own tail!
You’ll recall that last week Vera had a go at the Cook and Des van Weekend Special for dreaming up war games whenever there is a call to defend Namba Wan. Vera has always been fascinated by this “Defend uMsholozi” game yet the main enemy he really needs to be defended from is himself. He has been a disaster from day one, walking from one crisis to the next with no prompting at all. The man is simply a scandal factory all by himself, and no amount of defending will protect him from himself. Anyway, Vera pored over the video footage and photographs of the ragtag “Msholozi Defence Force” members who stood guard around Luthuli House on Monday. She hasn’t had such a good laugh for ages, especially when she saw some of the military veterans on display!
Many wouldn’t have been born, let alone wearing nappies, when the bush war was raging. A feasible explanation is that the Cook had a potent magic ingredient he used to add to the pot in his bush kitchen to make all who ate his food delay the onset of old age.
Which led to Vera imagining what guerilla war stories those in the guard of shame shared among themselves as they stood in the blazing sun to protect Namba Wan in spirit, given that he was in faraway China, pretending to be our president once again.
The horse has long bolted and we know the real story why the Cook is a onearmed bandit, courtesy of that motormouth, Juju. Otherwise, given that he conceded before a court of law that he is economical with the truth when Red Ronnie put him in his place, our hero would probably have spun a yarn making up the story. There would, no doubt, have been a lot of spicing up the story with how the arm was lost and little room for tales about the mean meals he used to throw together for OR, Chris Hani and other real heroes of the struggle.