The circus still in town while Thuli loses her cool
LION AND THE LAMB
VERA couldn’t help but feel like she has been watching Animal Planet with the way this Khongolose succession circus is unfolding.
There was Badakiwe, AKA the minister of shatshalazini, dragging the ex, who is not really an ex, to church where Smallernyana Skeletons found some Biblical reference to make of the woman who would be president.
The ex AU chieftain was like Jesus, both a lion and a lamb, Badakiwe declared. I wonder what verse she got that from.
HONESTY IN SHORT SUPPLY
But there was an observation in Badakiwe’s praise that had Vera scratching her head. She said it was time for a woman president simply because the country was in need of an honest leader.
Telling, isn’t it? Vera knows a need arises where there is a void. We simply don’t have honest leaders – Smallernyana Skeletons herself and
included. So consistent with her smallernyana skeletons theory, though. Does it mean Nkosazana has hers as well? Speaking of lions, Vera observed that the whole thing of the ANC Women’s League campaigning to have the ex succeed her ex is wellorchestrated. It’s kind of watching lionesses laying the ambush around a buffalo that is so engrossed in the sweet grass it’s grazing on, thus oblivious to lurking dangers.
CUBS CAN’T WAIT TO TUCK IN
Even the Nkandla cubs in the form of Thuthukile and Edward “The Zero” are smelling blood, coming out to miaow long before the kill is even made. Meanwhile, the deaf buffalo munches away, without a care in the world. Wake up, Cyril!
NOT UP THULI’S AVENUE
What is Vera to make of two learned girls having a go at each other like Thuli and Busi have been doing?
Dear Sis Thuli, you have carried yourself with such admirable dignity through the most trying times of your tenure as public protector. You proved to be a dignified and classy lady but this is so unlike you and Vera has some free advice for you Do you really want to take this battle to the streets, eshashalazini? Are you sure about that? Remember streetfights have no rules, and your weave may be pulled out, leaving you a sorry mess, bald patches and all, and you may even lose one of your expensive stilettos in the skirmish. Vera thinks you may be venturing into unchartered territory where they’ll beat you at their game. Vera would like to remember you as that calm voice of reason not someone who engages in a mud fight she stands no chance of winning. Silence can indeed be golden.
LOST AND FOUND
Vera is glad to declare she has found the bae she’s been longing for for so long, thanks to that other darling of the airwaves Eusebius McKaizer. You see, once she’s done that obligatory super duper breakfast with the peerless Sakina Kamwendo, Vera finds herself invariably changing the to catch Eusebius at 9am. That’s where she bumped into the People’s Bae telling the people how Juju’s toy troops were preparing to deal with Namba Wan’s plan to annex parliament with the army. Always one to make Vera’s day, the likeable one, declared Namba Wan a constitutional delinquent who always breaks the law. Also noticed the tweet where he sent emoticons of himself lifting weights in preparation for the Battle of Sona.
You got mncwaaaah! to
JACKBOOT RULE
love the bae, The whole thing of soldiers at what is meant to be sacrosanct ground just to protect one man is ludicrous.
Namba Wan and Gogo Baleka have ordered 441 pair of boots to stomp on the grounds, all ready to charge at Juju, the make-believe commander in chief of the teletubbies in red.
If the soldiers were there to help the police maintain “law and order”, in the word of Namba Wan himself, it means there were enough of them to guard each and everyone of the 400 parliamentarians yesterday.
Why do people in the people’s parliament need protection from the people? Interesting times these.
It’s the eighth wonder of the world why Zuma wasn’t delivered to the house in a “Hippo”. Now that’ sa word from an era Vera used to think was dead and buried, when terminology such as “law and order” was thrown around by the likes of Adrian Vlok and Louis le Grange. The more things change ... Vera would like to proffer an unreserved apology to her favourite minister Dr Aaron Motsoaledi, whom she renamed Elias last time around.