Can you really live without having sex?
A roll in the hay is just as much about individual choice as celibacy
Ask anyone if they can live without sex, and chances are you will get a resounding “no”.
You are more likely to hear of stereotypes of how not having sex will in the case of men, turn testicles blue, or in women, make you have adult acne break-outs.
But can you really live without sex?
Some people tend to think that the vow of celibacy mostly applies to women, yet we talk to a man who claims he is going on two years without sex, and here is the cherry on top: he is in the entertainment industry!
He speaks to us on account of anonymity to protect his ego. The popular artist says that he has chosen to focus all his energy on his career and has no appetite for the ladies.
“I realised that sex and relationships tend to slow me down. I was in a relationship that was very intense, and I realised that I was dedicating too much of my time focused on this person, to a point where it almost messed up my career.
“She had me hooked on her, to a point where our fights would lead me to missing studio sessions and even performances.
“I was even addicted to the make-up sex. So we would fight and have great sex, fight and have great sex. It became a vicious cycle,” he discloses.
“After we broke up, I realised that I can live without sex. I was never the kind of person who would have random onenight stands, [and having] decided to take some time out after the break-up, I realised that I was living without sex one day at a time, and eventually, I stopped even thinking about it,” he says.
Sex expert Dr Marelise Swart and sexologist Elvis Munatswa tackle some of the myths about living without sex.
Swart says there are various examples of people who live without sex, and that the reasons for this differ according to an individual.
“Of course, you can live without sex! Certain religions ask for abstinence, [and an] example [of this are] monks, nuns and some priests, etc.
“There are men and women that are single and that choose not to be in a sexual relationship, and there is nothing wrong with that.
“But some may continue to have sex with themselves [masturbation] and get their sexual needs met in that way.”
Munatswa says that while sex is a physiological action, it is mostly a choice that people make.
“The fact that anyone can have sex at any time also makes it possible to choose to not have sex and with no consequences. One needs to make and commit to a decision to abstain from sex.” "The myth is that if you don’t ejaculate, you then have salt in your balls. This is one of those good-tohave conversations that mean nothing. There is no salt in the balls and it’s just a myth,” says Munatswa.
Munatswa does however say that blue testicles are a reality! While they will not literally turn a blue colour, he says a man can experience pain in his testicles caused by constant arousal which does not have any bearing to him having sex or lack of it.
When it comes to women, the one thing we always hear is that if a woman does not have sex in a while, she will close up down there, and Swart points to some truths to this.
She says a tighter pelvic floor muscle and painful intercourse often results if a woman does not have sex for quite some time. She advices that a couple can use a lubricant in that regard.