Amazing what reshuffle can do to the life of a country!
Stab them in the back
Ja neh? Bitso lebe ke seromo, so goes a Sotho saying, meaning give a dog a bad name ...
Old man Zuma must have seen way into the future when tasked with coming up with a name for his bundle of joy all those donkey’s years ago and came up with Gedleyihlekisa, “the one who laughs with you while physically hurting you”.
Which part of GO does he not get?
Are we not hurting fellow Satafricans while our man giggles?
If you stay quiet enough, you can almost hear him thinking of more ways to hurt us.
Marching to Raz’s beat
And then there was the Minister of Twitter and Partying making his grand entrance at the police service. Naturally he had to throw himself a little shindig.
For the music Razz asked our meterosexual top cop – he of manicures and pedicures – to bring along the police band to a parade to welcome our Twitter star .
Hide the guns ... and the mic
And, will somebody please make sure that our friend is not issued with a firearm, seeing how excitable he gets most of the time. There he was trying to sound like Vera’s all-time favourite makhulu phoyisa, Ndosi – calling on the cops to shoot people.
New ideas, please
Take it easy, Razz. And stuff that illadvised Wan*** Tsotsi, the slogan is so low class and crude. It didn’t work when you were number two (pardon the pun) under Nathi Mthethwa. It won’t work now.
Mr Everything
And there was Jomo losing his team’s playing kit. Bra J, we all would like to be in different places at the same time sometimes, but you can’t be the coach, club owner, a player’s dad, the team manager’s dad, the team driver and everything in between. No wonder thing go missing.
Catch ’em young
And what was that with Mama Action getting all too excited at the sight of 12 people at a rally, saying such pedestrian stuff as “Let the rand fall, sizolidobha”. I give up, no use teaching a straatmeid etiquette.
What was she doing there in the first place? Must have been word that there were some youth there. Vera has a word of advice for you sisi wami, on social media they call Oros’s people the ANCient League. So there are no real Ben 10s to be seduced there. Unless you want a Laurent Kabila lookalike on your arm.
Toyi toyi lessons
Ever wondered what made Namba Wan all that cocky this week? Vera would be too, were she in his shoes and hearing some protesters of a lighter hue singing Kumbaya trying to flush him out.
Not one to let a moneymaking opportunity go to waste, Vera is offering some toyi-toyi and rhythm lessons. Show your patriotism fellow compatriots and be first in the queue. This Kumbaya nonsense will not leave battle-hardened Namba Wan cowering in a corner. Cum’on folks!
Puff and pass
Village Jet-setter
Be careful what damage a reshuffle can do. Vera was minding her own business sipping latte at a high-end coffee shop fraternised by the government types when she heard the voice of one ex-minister whose name shall remain a secret. He was waxing lyrical about how the misery visited upon us by Butternut Head will be made tolerable with a zol since a court ruling has legalised it.