Wannabe presidents paint a pretty picture
Broken dreams
Serena how could you? Now Vera has to field the calls of grown-ass men lamenting some dead dreams in which you play a starring role.
Normally falling preggies is cause for celebration, and Vera is not about to join the chorus of lament by amagents, many of whom have no clue what deuce or a backhand is but were so engrossed in tennis because you were playing.
Congratulations, dear.
Run, Buffalo, run
You’ve got to marvel at the goings-on in our toy house royal family, the House of Gedle. Yes, Vera has given up dreaming about the Buffalo catching a wake-up call and making a real run for it.
No Nkandla 2, please
So President Nkosazana it is, the ex who is not really an ex. We can only pray she has no grand plans of building herself a village, just like uBaba did, and making us all pay for it. It will obviously be unfair as we have already built her that rondavel in the compound, mos.
He’s no Englishman in Nkandla
Anyway, the queen-to-be spoke the other day and Vera finally got to understand why Namba Wan has not bothered to go to school.
If the only really educated member of the family, (she is a medical doctor, remember) believes schools are no good and are only there to brainwash children with propaganda that Khongolose is corrupt, Namba Wan must be feeling all too cocky about giving the whole thing a miss.
Which explains why he dropped out of the Abet class by the firepool. Proof thereof is in his total abandonment of any pretence of reading speeches in English. He now speaks exclusively in Zulu, sounding more statesmanly – Vera must add.
Called to action
You’ve got to love Namba Wan’s other favourite lady, who was called to action at the birthday party when two excitable oldies who must have skipped class too held up signs reading: Birthday Happy. Go Mama Action, go.
Picking up the pieces
Vera couldn’t help noticing how she dresses these days. It is out with the sgcebhezana and in with nunnery-fit frocks. Then the penny dropped. If you’re in the business of picking up fallen stuff – such as the rand – you’d better dress the part.
Try picking anything wearing a miniskirt, you’ll see.
Move over, Namba Wan
He’s back! The Acamedic Intelekshual Leksha never fails to make Vera feel like a mosquito in a nudist camp, just so much to tuck into.
This time he was telling us he could be president if he wanted to, judging by the number of people wishing he was! Thank heaven he is all for the idea of a woman president and won’t therefore be running against The Ex. Small mercies!
Use-by date
The trouble with useful idiots is that they really don’t know they are just that. Take for example the bulldog let loose on that lovely fat piglet until it was Pravout and in with Gigabytes! Will someone tell him to stop his scorched earth methods. Will you, Burning, argh Berning?! Maybe Raz’s approach might just work. He took the trouble to tell our fella, who is refusing to leave that he won’t be entertaining any drama as they are not on The Bold and the Beautiful. Gotta love this, my motherland.