How to get sparks flying in bedroom
You can extend your ‘honeymoon’
There’s no question that when a couple is still in the honeymoon phase, sparks fly in the bedroom.
They cannot keep their hands off each other, have no problem initiating sex and bedroom activity is frequent.
Fast forward a couple of years later, the spark dims after they have had kids, which can also put a damper on any couple’s bedroom prowess. But one of the biggest fights that a couple can argue about is who gets to initiate sex.
When you and your partner start having squabbles about “Why must I be the one who initiates sex all the time?”, or “Why don’t you initiate sex for once?”, then we have a problem!
Sexologist Dr Elvis Munatswa says that when a couple struggles with who initiates sex, usually there is an underlying issue within the relationship.
“If you lack enthusiasm, it can make your partner detach themselves from initiating sex, mostly from a fear of rejection. There is nothing worse than someone pouring cold water on your sexual enthusiasm.
“You need to show your partner that you want them sexually, that you are ready to indulge in the most intimate way to get sexually stimulated and satisfied. Remember, enthusiasm goes beyond saying you want to have sex,” Munatswa says.
He gives some tips that will get the sparks flying again:
Be friendly. You cannot put your ● partner down or say something upsetting then turn around and want sex.
Have a romantic conversation.
●
Be playful, use your hands, your mouth and anything that could explicitly indicate your desire for sex.
Have a sex follow-up conversation.
● Saying such things as “I had fun last night”, “you made me feel awesome when you did that”, or “do you want a repeat tonight?” will certainly set the mood for another steamy lovemaking session. Flirt with your partner. Take
● time to flirt through text and in person.
Be creative. Sex involves combining
● fantasy and reality, so don’t be afraid to ask things like, “what would you like me to do to you tonight?”
Munatswa adds that being active and going the extra mile as you make love shows your partner that sex is not a chore, but that they really want you.
On the flip side, he says these are a no-no when it comes to initiating sex:
Lying in bed, arms crossed and
● turning your head towards your partner and saying, “we can if you want”.
Lying in bed and looking at the
● ceiling.
Lying in bed, arms crossed and
● saying, “you may have me, it’s been a while”. This will make it sound like a loan repayment.