A friend in our group is controlling, how do we get her to stop?

Intervention may be misplaced

We are four friends who want to stage an intervention on a controlling friend in our group who always wants us to do what she wants and interferes in our lives, but are scared that this will cause a major fallout that will be detrimental to our group. Is there a better way to approach this? MOM replies:

If the four of you gang up against her, she will feel attacked by the gang. She may obviously rebel and become defensive.

She is controlling because you guys have allowed it. You are the ones who need intervention. Why do you all allow her to control you? If she demands that you do something, just don’t do it if you don’t want to.

Boitumelo replies:

Why have the four of you been doing things you don’t want to do anyway? Was she holding a gun over your heads?

You are adults and have your own minds, you should refuse to do anything you don’t want to do. If she complains, tell her that’s what she has been doing and you have been playing along. Exercise your minds and your rights. She has been clever and exercising her mind on you ladies. Don’t attack her because you failed to stand up for yourselves.

Tshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. Email: tumi.tshenkeng@ gmail.com Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. Email: mandisamahlobo@gmail.com