Girls, you have every right to show up and thrive in whatever shape you are
Society needs to stop placing looks above a woman’s talent
now washed-up journalist said she looked like a horse.
I hurt as I write this, to imagine a woman who was the greatest entertainer of her time being put through the kind of violence that makes her refer to herself as ugly.
It hurts to imagine a woman, a star whose voice is still, 13 years after her death, able to unite both the young and old; a talent that is timeless, walking around with a self-esteem that had been beaten and bludgeoned to a pulp. What then of us mere mortals?
Did the society that adored Fassie also fail her? I would like to believe so.
I believe that as a society that bows down to patriarchal norms and demands, that there is an aesthetic ideal that we chase and uphold for women, and women only. There is punishment for those who refuse to conform but dare to imagine that they can be stars.
There are women who do not fit the mould but try to break through, we make and push them into unflattering corners, like the representation of fat women in media. You are fat, so you can’t possibly represent anything on TV other than a funny, loud “mama” character.
A line in an article on the magic of Fassie manages to work in that she sounds amazing, but looks like a horse.
To reduce Fassie’s demise to her living in a world that called her ugly would be simplistic, but I have a strong feeling that it was a big contributor.
As I was reading the book I kept thinking, shouting into air: “Why didn’t someone save her?”
While it may be too late for mama, it is not too late for us to save our daughters. We have to be militant about teaching and instilling in them that they have the right to show up, to thrive in whatever form, shape or complexion they arrive in.
We are enough, they must know.