Bigger boos and aces up one’s sleeve

Boo, they said

So, the booing season is well and truly with us now. What are we to do but grin, boo and bear it?

In the one corner is Namba Wan and his usual noisy and yet challenged-in-every-other-way crowd.

For them it’s all fine when they go around booing people they don’t like, even at solemn occasions like memorials, but can’t stomach getting booed themselves.

Ace in the pack

They have in their midst such august talent as one Elias “Ace” Magashule – yes you read right, Elias. Our hero from the City of Roses has a unique gift of making out the differences between a boo from Bloem and a boo bused all the way from Kimberley! To him all those Cosatu ‘whackers’ who dared boo Namba Wan on Monday were from somewhere else. Vera never knew boos came in different accents.

My boo’s better than yours

The Bloem boos got Oros in such a froth he promised to outboo everybody else when next he sees the Buffalo. Not a great idea, Vera reckons. From her impeccable expertise gleaned from thousands of hours in front of the telly watching Animal Planet, stealth is a great asset when lions go hunting buffaloes.

Hold it Oros, hold it

Imagine Namba Wan and the lionesses be posed to deliver one final charge onto the Buffalo when Oros, uncoordinated and clumsy as he is, goes “boooo” at the crucial moment.

Prayer works

With the hunt well and truly under way now and the Buffalo fully aroused to the dangers lurking everywhere, it’s no wonder he has found solace and refuge in prayer.

Not so long ago Number 2 beat a hasty trail to Moria and had the holy man there pray for him.

This week he went to the belly of the beast, so to speak, going to Namba Wan’s territory and asking their version of Moria to help. Nice move, Buffalo, nice move.

Now Namba Wan and his chasing pack are not so sure of their story.

Just say ‘Thank You’

The church elders even reprimanded him for failing to return and thank the Lord for answering his prayers pre-Polokwane when he came to ask for the top job and that the number 783 disappear into thin air.

Vera notes that one wish was granted but the numerals have flatly refused to go. Oh the power of gratitude. Pity it’s in short supply at Nkandla. The holy men explained that’s the reason he’s had so much trouble of late.

The big stench

Eagle-eyed Vera couldn’t help noticing a grimace on one of the bearded, robed holy men’s face. It must have been a stench coming from those wannabe presidential toes. Things we do to be president! Kubi!

Going nutty on telly

The week was getting to be all too serious for Vera’s liking and she sought relief in that joke of a news channel, ZumANN7. And my did they not disappoint! They have this nutty professor who sees everything through Namba Wan-tinted glasses. He’s cut from the same cloth as the Native Previously Known as Jimmy, as are the poor presenters and what passes for reporters.

Come again

Vera was relieved when she heard the Vivaman warn the Guptas “We are coming... We are coming ... for you.” She was worried sick the other day when in a radio promo ahead of the launch of the new labour federation he had declared “I am coming, I am coming.” Could that be the cry that let the cat out of the bag in that infamous mentoring session at Cosatu House with the intern? Naughty Vera, naughty!