A boo here, a boo there, a boo everywhere
(Weekend) Special talent
At this rate we might as well fashion new careers out of these unique talents our not-so-honourable politicians are blessed with – especially the crowd hanging around Namba Wan.
Heard what Des had to say on the radio the other day trying to explain why they had to shield the people’s president from the people in Vuwani?
Namba Wan had sent him to test the waters, and boy did the crowd have fun rehearsing their booing skills on Weekend Special when he proved he had nothing special to offer beyond viva this and viva that.
Anyway, he said on the wireless a day later that he and his security team, famed for playing war games by guarding Luthuli House against gogos chanting “Zuma must fall, Zuma must fall, Zuma must faaaaaaaaaall”, carried out a recce at Vuwani ahead of the planned presidential visit.
Our heroes concluded that Vuwani was not safe for Namba Wan and kept him away.
Who the shoe fits...
So by merely looking at the multitudes of scary faces of the great unwashed in the marquee, our genius could tell what the people were thinking.
Not even the apartheid experts on Bantu Affairs in their grey shoes could have dreamt up that one.
The people shall heckle
You see, these people have been referring to the rest of us as the “masses of our people”, as if they owned us. It is now so ingrained in them that they even think they can see your brain thinking of booing.
Was it part of the curriculum of the political school in the bush?
Long wait for freedom
Speaking of the bush, Vera is of the opinion that “masses of our people” would still be waiting to be liberated had we put all our faith in this lot.
Just think about it, this Ncuntla fellow was said to be one of the top commanders of their ragtag army, leaving Vera wondering how much of a fight he really had in him if he can be scared out of his pants by booing crowds.
His enemies in the bush war must be kicking themselves today just thinking of how much resources they wasted fighting the formidable army featuring Des and The Cook aka Porn Star – all ably led by Namba Wan – when all they needed to do was to boo and our heroes would turn on their heels into the hills.
East, west, home’s always best
Vera wonders how much further from Nkandla can this fellow venture now that the rest of the cowntry seems to be “booooooobytrapped” for him. Free State, Gauteng, Western Cape and now Limpopo are confirmed boo-zones. Only Ncuntla can be deemed safe.
Betrayal all round
But that too cannot be guaranteed. Remember how “our people” there stood in the queue with Nkandla’s most famous son only to vote for the opposition during the local polls?
Leave ancestors out of this one
Men be warned what damage a nyatsi can do. Choose carefully next time; don’t do it Malusi-style.
Noticed how the missus thought she was keeping a dignified silence as makhwapheni went ballistic from across the big salty pond following that joke of an interview?
It didn’t work. The trolls were outdoing each other in Twitter Avenue calling the madam names.
Someone suggested she go to uTatakho to prove any relation to Homo Naledi. Cruel, these streets.
Thinking out of the box
Is there a way out of the mess the Acamedic Intelekshual Leksha left at the public broadcaster? Vera is still struggling to pick her jaw from the floor after reading that they can’t even afford sending commentators out of town for games of late.
They have ordered the poor souls to pretend they are at the stadium all the while broadcasting matches off the TV monitor in the studio.