Teen mothers blame lack of sex education
Young moms left with babies by the boyfriends who don’t want to be dads
Ignorance, lack of family planning education and not taking contraceptives regularly contributes to teenage pregnancy.
This is according to three teenage mothers Sowetan interviewed after statisticiangeneral Pali Lehohla announced last week that by the age of 19, 28% of girls have started having children.
A 15-year-old girl from Mzimhlophe, Soweto, fell pregnant when she was only 14 years old.
“The guy who took my virginity is the guy who fathered my son. He is helpful with the child,” she said shyly, adding that the father of her son is 23 years old.
The girl said she had never received any education about contraception before she fell pregnant.
“I had heard about the contraceptive injection, but was scared because I did not know how it worked.
“Yes, I was sexually active but did not know about any form of contraception. My grandmother was shy to speak to me about sexual stuff,” the girl said.
She said her mother got married when she was young and she was raised by her grandmother. She lives with her grandmother, brother and onemonth-old son in a back room. They survive on the allowance her mother sends and her grandmother’s pension.
“I had to repeat Grade 9 even though I had vouched that I would never repeat a grade. I went back to school in April. It hurts to see my friends ahead of me. I lost my dignity, respect and now my self-esteem is low. People call me names and my friends treat me as a mother.”
Another young mother, Unathi Nhose, 19, from Orlando, Soweto, said her pregnancy was from her first relationship.
‘‘ Although I knew about the pill, I thought it would not happen to me
She fell pregnant when she was only 16 years old.
“The baby’s father was 23. We had been dating for two years before I fell pregnant. I found out six months into the pregnancy,” Nhose said.
“It came as a surprise. I actually fell pregnant shortly after I started sleeping with my [him]. He was the guy who took my virginity.
“Although I knew about contraceptives, I thought it was a far-off idea.
“I didn’t think pregnancy would happen to me,” she said.
Nhose said they were a group of 10 friends in high school and seven of them fell pregnant at the same time.
“Only two of my friends’ boyfriends are active fathers while the rest of us have to raise our children by ourselves.”
However, she said, her son’s paternal grandparents were supporting her financially.
“I do not regret having him because a child is a blessing.”
Nhose is helped by her aunt, mother and grandmother to raise the child.
The third mother, who asked not to be named, is from Wesselsbron in the Free State.
She became pregnant at 19 while doing her first year in human resources studies at a college in the Free State.
She was impregnated by a fellow student who was 22 years old.
“Being pregnant was very emotional for me. I had to go back home to become a mom.
“I had to put my dreams on hold and be there for the baby 24/7 while my friends were living their lives. I don’t know what I would have done without my mother,” she said.
The woman, 25, said the romantic relationship with the baby’s father quickly changed after she told him she was expecting.
“When I found out I was pregnant, he was very upset with me. He said it was my fault because he knew I was taking the pill. Although I was on the pill, the pregnancy happened while I was at his house for a weekend,” she said.
“I told him I had forgotten my pills at home and he insisted that we have sex. He said I could take the pill when I got home, that is how it happened.”
She said the father was supporting their child financially even though she felt it was not enough.
“A child needs a father figure. I have tried talking to him about this but I cannot force him to be there for the baby.”