Somgaga’s boys demolish ‘rich gay’ myth

Give it up for Somgaga

Let’s have a standing ovation for Somizi, shall we? Vera just loves this great South African.

She caught up with Somgaga on the latest episode of his reality show and was reminded of the piece my fellow columnist, the guy on top of me, wrote last week.

Man of letters

Did I say the guy on top of me? Before you get any ideas, Fred dear, I meant the order in which our columns are placed on this page. Sit down now, will you?

Anyway, Vera doesn’t do the bookish type that may just bore her to death discussing letters.

The poor, always with us

Anyways, Fred told of his slice of life moment on a Cape train trip and how some ladies “be ba ncokola nge siXhosa” about there being no such thing as a poor gay person.

Trust Somizi to deliver on just about anything; for instance he has given Idols SA a kiss of life since taking a seat on the judges’ bench a couple of seasons ago.

There he was on his show unwittingly giving a kiss of death to a myth that must surely have been developing a life all its own: “No such thing as a poor gay”.

Somgaga was lounging on beer crates, reconnecting with old pals in Tshiawelo, Soweto. And boom! the myth was blown out the window: you could have themed the show Somizi and the Great Unwashed Gays.

But they were such fun these Somizi homeboys, they gave Vera’s companion ideas, leaving him reminiscing about going to ekasi and hanging out with the boys, Somizi-style. I just had to rein him in, telling him that usually, such a set-up is about power – read levels of success.

It’s just a wie sien ons?

Have you ever heard of a failure in life organising a high school reunion?

Only those who are – relatively speaking – more successful in the group will entertain thoughts of going to the hood “just to catch up”. It is usually about showing off that shiny new set of wheels or some other “achievement”, usually materialistic in nature. Like Somgaga so ably demonstrated: omunye nomunye unezibotho zakhe.

Another one bites dust

Hawu, nawe Malume Jeff? Vera knows she is saying this for the umpteenth time, but I honestly give up on these fellas in politics who want us to believe they are all honourable.

At this rate, shouldn’t we be demanding they prove that they are indeed honourable, before we extend them the privilege?

The R, not C-word, is requested

So Malume Jeff, the “masses of our people” have heard the non-apology but they will text you back on that one, all in due course. Vera thinks the sms should replace “C.l.i.t” and send a message that reads “r.e.s.pe.c.t for women is requested”.

It’s raining apologies

Uncle Gweezy has not officially proclaimed the race for Namba Wan’s job open, but Vera senses she must have missed something now that the season of apologies is here.

First it was the buffalo proving it has an elephant’s memory by remembering Marikana – four years on. Then came Her Royal Highness the Princess of the Struggle putting in a word for her role in helping our famous singer and dancer win the Polokwane singing contest. Lindiwe dear, Vera will forgive you for anything, aaaaanything.

Hope your contrition has little to do with dreams of taking over isikhundla sikababa at Khongolose, like the others.

Apologies, apologies, be warned, dear reader, there are many more where those came from. What with these wimps who misbehave in the presence of “improperly dressed” women? They have learnt well at the feet of Namba Wan, who was rendered jelly-kneed at the sight of a comrade’s daughter in a kanga.