Clear skies on horizon after so much fog
Always misty on the Gweezy front
You’ve just got to love the weird, wonderful and fuzzy world of Uncle Gweezy. Vera has long given up hope of making sense of what mhlekazi has to say whenever he opens his mouth.
It was no different when uNobhala took to the airwaves this week to further muddy the waters around the complexities of this thing they call a recall at Luthuli House.
Hair remover
Vera is worried she must have lost a treasure of hair, scratching her head repeatedly as she tried to make sense of whatever Gweezy had to say about why they sacked that PipeSucking Intellectual.
The hair loss will probably be all in vain because Malume Gweezy will probably just mantash by the time Vera gets her brain around the gobbledegook while she’d remain none the wiser why uKhongolose put Thibos out to pasture?
Clear as mud
According to typically foggy Gweezy logic, Thabo was sacked because he was no longer the president of the party.
Let’s try that again. Yes, he was fired because he lost that singing and chanting contest in Polokwana (as uNobhala calls that hamlet up north). The Goatee saw no need to explain why Thibos was replaced with another non-president in Kgalema Motlanthe while Namba Wan waited his turn at the trough, oops, presidency. Hindsight being 20/20 vision, Vera now knows the fella with snow for a goatee was allowed the privilege to allow Namba Wan to fine-tune his relationship with the Guptas.
Season of cheer
Now that all those marches have failed, let’s all look forward to a double-whammy Khisimusi when we’ll hopefully see the back of this Ncutla fellow for good. Come January, he won’t be Khongolose’s makhulu baas anymore – reason enough, according to Gweezy, to show him the door. Hooray!
Splish, splash ... he’s going
Then we can have the firepool finally put to its real use when Butternut Head makes a splash.
Aaah, Vera loves it when pieces of a puzzle come together and a clearer picture emerges. She has now figured out the scenes she witnessed the other day when she spied on the goings-on at the Saxonwold compound.
You may not be aware, dear reader, but Vera and her fellow slaves have been herded into a brand-new building on the Hillbrow doorstep but, crucially and thankfully, only a few blocks from the famed home of Namba Wan’s true masters.
Ever one to look on the brighter side, Vera appreciates the proximity now that she can train her Bondstyle special glasses to have an unfettered view behind those high walls. She’s sure she saw, the other day, a familiar but oddly shaped head bob in and out of the pool at the compound. It can only mean one thing, our man is taking this retirement thing seriously, come December. He has been taking swimming lessons in Saxonwold.
Vera is all too glad to report to “the masses of our people” that the lessons have been going swimmingly well. Woooooooza December, woza!
Playing clever
And don’t they just love their pools, these Zuptas. When Namba Wan’s favourite son tied the knot, they just had to have a floating stage in a gigantic pool. Vera is worried though because swimming pools are a decidedly Clever Black thing. Traditionally, to feed into an age-old stereotype, darkies can’t swim, remember Eric the Eel at some Olympics? Vera knows Namba Wan has no time or affection for Clever Blacks or their tendencies. What, now that he has a Clever Black at home?
No good in this goodbye
With teary eyes Vera would like to bid a partner in crime and a lovable human being to boot – the beautiful beyond measure Bongekile Macupe – all the best as she sets out to conquer new frontiers.
Go well sana, Sis Vera misses you already, vha? Love always. And we know you’ll represent.