Mothers-inlaw needn't be outlaws
Maturity needed on both sides
Getting along with your mother can often be tricky. Your mother-in-law being your best friend? Well, that is almost unheard of.
For centuries, mothers-inlaw have been vilified. But has this perception changed with time? We meet happy spouses who say that their mother-inlaw is their best friend!
They give us some words of wisdom on how to forge a successful relationship.
Thandeka Mphote, 34, and her mother-in-law Emily Mphote, 54
Thandeka Mphote has been married for five years, and she stays with her mother-in-law. She says that from day one, Emily Mphote has treated her like her daughter.
“It is natural for most women to be worried about how their in-laws will receive them when they get married.
“I was also worried. But I have found that my mother-inlaw is a God-fearing woman who has open-heartedly embraced my whole family, and I love her a lot. She is like my best friend.
“The most important thing to remember is that as much as your husband loves you, he loves his mom and his family too, so you need to come into the family with a positive and accommodating attitude.”
Emily says that what brought her together with her daughter-in-law is empathy.
“I was a new makoti too at some point, and I remember how nerve-wracking it was, trying to appease everyone.
“I did not want to be one of those mothers–in–law who gave the poor child a hard time. I have walked the same road, so I think it was up to me to make the load easier on her.
“When I let all those inhibitions down, it was easy to love her like a daughter. She is everything to me. I even made her wedding gown!” she says.
The pair say they chat on WhatsApp daily like two best friends who have known each other for a lifetime.
Siyamcela Sikhulume, 32, and his mother-in-law Mbolekwa Stuurman, 48
Men have also had their share of mothers-in-law from hell, but Siyamcela Sikhulume, an entrepreneur from Benoni who has been married for seven years, cannot relate.
“She is my best friend, honestly. I think what made me love her so much was firstly my appreciation for giving me my beautiful wife, but also how well she raised her, and all the values she instilled in her daughter.
“That spoke volumes about her as a person, and I naturally gravitated towards her.”
Mbolekwa Stuurman, Siyamcela’s mother-in-law, echoes his sentiments.
“The love that I saw my daughter had for him made me want to get to know him as a person. When I did, I realised that she actually made the right choice in him.
“He is responsible, a great father and a hard-working provider. Honestly, what’s there not to love?” she says.