Jumping too quickly to whips and spanking might scare off hubby

Creativity needed to tackle S&M

After watching Shades of Grey movies, I am keen to try and explore a little bit of S&M (sadomasochism, a practice of using pain as a sexual stimulant) in the bedroom with my husband without seeming too naughty and kinky. How does one even begin to bring this up, that I would like to try a bit of spanking, as our sex life has largely been reserved to a diet of the missionary position? MOM replies: You need to be a little creative on this one.

Introduce new things gradually because if it’s an avalanche of kinkiness at a go, it may scare him. Start small and see how he reacts. Google websites and books that can shed some light on this subject.

BOITUMELO replies:

Maybe jumping too quickly to whips and spanking might be overwhelming at the start.

Begin the conversation, send him messages of how you would like him to touch you and give you pleasure.

Make it fun and enticing but also opening up a serious conversation.

Ask if he would be openminded to trying out few new things in the bedroom, even trying out a few new positions and slowly introducing other things you would like to explore with him. Tshenkeng is a clinical psychologist. e-mail her on: tumi.tshenkeng@gmail.com Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. e-mail her on: mandisamahlobo@gmail.com