Comic relief but the bad joke’s on all of us
The joke at the top
Nowhere else but in politics and government does the oxymoron take a life all its own. The old classic is “military intelligence”, which many believe is a contradiction in terms.
Politics has been a constant source of amusement to the observant and has supplied comics, satirists and cartoonists with material by the truckloads without fail since time immemorial – a gift that will never stop giving.
For instance, almost everyone bar the voting sheep he has surrounded himself with in the once-glorious Khongolose agree that Namba Wan is little more than a joke. It’s a pity the joke is now on all of us as we bear the yoke of his joke of a presidency.
The oke has beaten us so silly that we are all kind of numbed to the sadistic pain he has been causing us. We are now able to see the funny side of the not so funny.
Not right kind of intelligence
Take for example the chap who masquerades as an intelligence minister in the Gupta, oops, Zuma cabinet. It’s a case of not everything is necessarily what it says on the label. Our man told the cowntry that his people knew a year before the vandals in Vuwani went on the rampage and burnt schools and libraries what they were up to.
And what did he do about? Zilch. To this day no one has been brought to book for committing a crime very much on par with Verwoerd’s denial of education to a black child.
Very, very clever of our minister of intelligence, Vera says.
Time for a massage, minister
This fella must stick to what he knows and does best, visiting brothels where they may or might not believe in aphrodisiac wonders of the rhino horn, don’t you think?
Wolves among sheep
We had vowed not to say a word, especially anything bad, of Badakiwe and her famed grocery gang. Vera has actually been praying hard not to have reason to write anything about her.
But, alas, what would a Khongolose get-together be without some comic relief from Vera’s favourite minister?
There she was, trying to reason about the fact that the women’s league saw fit to include six men in its delegation to help in the debates because “women tend to be emotional and irrational” and therefore lose debates. Speak for yourself, madam.
It’s raining misogynists
What unforgivable sin have we beautiful women of this beautiful continent committed to be laden with such sorry excuses for men, even in the highest of offices?
We have way too many misogynists, many of them supposedly honorable presidents and ministers.
A video clip of Botswana’s president Ian Khama having a dig at Namba Wan, obviously taking liberties at his famed roving eye, suggested our man and Buffalo had tagged along to some SADC meeting in Swaziland because of the attraction of scantily dressed maidens at the reed dance. Women again portrayed as nothing more than sex objects. It elicited laughter all round. Typical. Khama is a regular offender who once infamously declared his readiness for marriage because he has finally figured out, at age 57, what he needs in a woman; but overweight women need not apply, he decreed.
The bachelor president declared his potential wife needs to be tall, slim and beautiful. To drive the point home he reportedly pointed – Lucas Mangope-style – to a thickset deputy minister in his cabinet ,“I don’t want one like this one. She may fail to pass through the door, breaking furniture with her heavy weight and even break the vehicle’s shock absorbers.” Again, laughter. Sisters, yinde le ndlela esiyihambayo.